Mindchow
The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you..
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Mind your language…
Winning entries of new words coined by the winners of a contest that the Washington Post held recently (and quoted by Karan Thapar in HT, 3/2/13)
Cashtration: The act of buying a house which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time (Me: the EMI-shell-outer in our parlance..)
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. (Me: And the finest example? Indians of course….!!)
Sarchasam: Te gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. (Me: Like who for example? Like ME, course!)
Glibido: All talk and no action. (Me: Again no prize for the right guess as to which country's citizens win this prize hands down…)
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito that attacks you at 3 in the morning.
Caterpallor: The colour you turn after finding a worm in your half-eaten food. (Me: Lolz – I won't name the country where this is a bitter truth…)
Now some alternative meanings for old well-known words..
Coffee: The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Willy-nilly: Impotent (Me: ROFL!!!!)
Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
Negligent: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a negligee (Me: wish I could such a negligent one. sigh….)
Testicle: A humorous question in exam.
(Me: People in the rest of the world lampoon n lambast – overtly - the Americans for their style, ways of life, but envy and imitate them covertly – all undoubted hypocrites. Bt, yours truly truly admires and applauds them for their inventiveness…)
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Fact of the matter…
White shelled eggs are produced by hens with white feathers and ear lobes. Brown shelled eggs are produced by hens with red feathers and red rear. There is no difference in nutrition between white and brown eggs.
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Health tips
Three keys to diabetes prevention – maintain normal body weight, get 30 minutes of exercise a day, eat a low-fat high fibre diet.
Give your eyes a break when working on a computer or doing detailed work. Look away into the distance every 15 minutes.
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Quote of the century…
"If the population growth rate continues, our population will double by 2051 and put pressure on our infrastructure" – Nitish Kumar, Bihar CM.
(Me: 100% true. All the talk of demographic dividend, which is the current buzzword, by all and sundry sabjantawallas is all utter nonsense, and on the contrary it is a demographic curse for India).
Weird world…
Convicted killer tries to escape prison in a suitcase…
Jails in Venezuela have banned visitors from bringing suitcases after guards caught an inmate trying to escape by hiding in a bag. Convicted killer Gavinson Garcia, who is just 5 feet 3 inches tall, folded himself into the bag brought to Yare II prison in Caracas by his girlfriend.
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A turkey is chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replies the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds that it actually gives him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reaches the second branch.
Finally after a week, there he is proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Unfortunately he is spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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Mother sells naming rights of baby for $5,000
A pregnant Los Angeles woman has sold for $5,000 he naming rights of her unborn infant to an online parenting startup called Belly Ballot. The website had run a contest on its blog to find a other willing to give up her naming rights. Prospective names for the baby would be chosen by the website's advertisers, and then a nationwide ballot would be held to pick a name for the baby.
(Me: Why not? $5,000 dollars (about 3 lakhs rupees) isn't something to sneeze at; as everyone knows, a rose by any other name will smell as sweet..)
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