Saturday, 2 April 2016

[www.keralites.net] THE HUSBAND AND WIFE STORES

 

The Husband and Wife Stores!
 

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have jobs and love kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework.

 "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
 

M. D. Hegde
 MANGALORE
 Think Good Do Good

whatsapp number 90355 30833
 https://www.facebook.com/groups/hegdemd
 www.federationits.com
www.keralites.net

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Re: [www.keralites.net] Prostate cancer treatment required

 

Dear All,

Ayurvedic treatment is there. There is one ayurvedic center in Kottayam, kerala. You can check the website. It is www. ayurvedapancakarma.com. Doctor's name is Vijith. You can go through the website you will get full details. I hope this would be useful to you.


From: "RaviE rraviselvam@yahoo.com [Keralites]" <Keralites@yahoogroups.com>
To: Keralites@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Thursday, 31 March 2016 2:39 AM
Subject: [www.keralites.net] Prostate cancer treatment required

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Posted by: Beena Menon <menonbeena13@yahoo.com>
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[www.keralites.net] GRANDMA IN COURT

 

GRANDMA IN COURT.. Brilliantly Hilarious:

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.
He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me..
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, - "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. ..Yes I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said:
"If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !"

M.d. Hegde's photo.

M. D. Hegde
 MANGALORE
 Think Good Do Good
whatsapp number 90355 30833
 https://www.facebook.com/groups/hegdemd
 www.federationits.com

www.keralites.net

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[www.keralites.net] THE WITTY VIVEKANANDA

 

THE WITTY VIVEKANANANDA

When Swami Vivekanand was studying law at the University College, London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when vivekanand came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.

The professor said, "Mr Vivekanand , you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."

Vivekanandji looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in Class he posed the following question: "Mr.Vivekanand , if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with money, which one would you take ?"

Without hesitating, Vivekanandji responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."

Swami Vivekanand shrugged and responded, "Each one takes what he doesn't have."

Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Swami Vivekanand's exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Swami Vivekanand.

Vivekanandji took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Swami Vivekanand got up, went to the professor and told him in a dignified polite tone, "Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."

Don't mess with intelligent Indians

M. D. Hegde
 MANGALORE
 Think Good Do Good

whatsapp number 90355 30833
 https://www.facebook.com/groups/hegdemd
 www.federationits.com
www.keralites.net

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