Sunday 16 December 2012

[www.keralites.net] പാടുന്ന ശവപ്പെട്ടി വരുന്നു

 

പാടുന്ന ശവപ്പെട്ടി വരുന്നു
 

  Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

ലണ്ട: ചിലക്ക് ഇഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട പാട്ടുകേട്ടില്ലെങ്കി ശരിയായി ഉറങ്ങാ കഴിഞ്ഞുവെന്ന് വരില്ല. എന്നാ മരണശേഷം അതിനു കഴിഞ്ഞൂ എന്ന് വരില്ല. ഇപ്പോഴിതാ അന്ത്യനിദ്രയിലും ഇഷ്ടപ്പെട്ട സംഗീതം കേക്കാവുന്ന ശവപ്പെട്ടിയുമായി സ്വീഡനിലെ ഒരു കന്പനി രംഗത്ത് വന്നിരിക്കുന്നു.

നിങ്ങക്ക് ഇഷ്ടമുള്ള പാട്ടുകളുടെ പട്ടിക മരണത്തിനു മുന്പ് എഴുതിക്കൊടുത്താല്‍ മാത്രം മതി, മരണശേഷം ശവപ്പെട്ടിക്കുള്ളിലെ സ്‌പീക്കറില്‍ ഈ പാട്ടുകള്‍ മുഴങ്ങിക്കൊണ്ടേയിരിക്കും. ആവശ്യമെങ്കി ബന്ധുക്കള്‍ക്ക്‌ പിന്നീട്‌ പട്ടികയി പുതിയ പാട്ടുക പ്പെടുത്താനുള്ള സംവിധാനം ഉണ്ടെന്നും ശവപ്പെട്ടിയുടെ ഉപജ്ഞാതാവായ ഫ്രെഡറിക്‌ ജെംക്വിസ്‌റ്റ്‌ പറയുന്നു. ഈ സംഗീത ശവപ്പെട്ടിയുടെ വില 16.15 ലക്ഷം രൂപ മാത്രമാണ്. 

പെട്ടിയുടെ മുവശത്ത് രണ്ട് സ്പീക്കറുകളുണ്ട്. എട്ടിഞ്ച് വലിപ്പമുള്ള സബ്‌വൂഫറുകളും ഉണ്ടാകും. ഇതിലൂടെയാണ് നിത്യനിദ്രയി നിന്ന് സംഗീതം ഒഴുകിയെത്തുക. ഇത് അമിതമായി ചൂടാകാതിരിക്കുന്നതിന് പുറത്ത് കൂളിംഗ് സംവിധാനവും ഏപ്പെടുത്തിയിട്ടുണ്ട്.

കാറ്റാടോന്പ് എന്ന ആപ്ളിക്കേഷന്റെ സഹായത്താലാണ് പാട്ടുകളുടെ പട്ടികയി പുതിയവ ഉപ്പെടുത്താ കഴിയുന്നത്. ശവക്കല്ലറയ്ക്ക സമീപം സ്ഥാപിക്കുന്ന ഒരു ടച്ച് സ്ക്രീനിന്റെ സഹായത്തോടെയാണ് പുതിയ പാട്ടുക അപ്ഡേറ്റ് ചെയ്യാനാകുന്നത്.


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[www.keralites.net] Khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 17/12/12

 

 
Armed man wearing 'Romney Mask' robs US Bank.
 
An armed man in a Mitt Romney mask has robbed a Wells Fargo bank in Virginia, USA.  The armed robber, wearing the Romney mask, methodically robbed all five tellers at the bank in suburban Washington, DC.
 
Mindchow
 
A mistake in judgment isn't fatal, but too much anxiety about judgment is.
 
Not so-weird news�
 
Chinese workers build skyscraper around tomb...
 
Chinese workers have been forced to build a massive residential complex around a tomb after locals in north China's Shanxi province refused a compensation amount for the construction on a burial site.  The bizarre circumstances arose after locals in Shanxi province refused 1,70,000 dollars offered as compensation for the sacred land where their ancestors lie buried.
 
(Me: This is no news for us Mumbaites: here cemeteries/crematoriums and residential apartment blocks live check by jowl because space is such a premium in the city)
 
Man: Is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid getting such thoughts.
 
Think it over
 
�Five years is nothing in a man's life except when he is very young and very old� �Pearl S. Buck.
 
Mindchow
 
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
 
(Me: Yep, apparently.)
 
Tongue very much in cheek�
 
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
 
Line Maro
 
Compared to you, the sun feels cold.
 
(Me: Will burn you down, with pleasure)
 
News of the day�
 
FDA to burn gutkha to generate electricity...
 
Gutka (a tobacco-based chewing item) packets seized by the Food and Drug administration (FDA) every since the July 16 ban may soon be put to some good use.  While brainstorming ways to dispose the packets, the FDA came up with the novel idea of sending them to a waste management plant in Pune where the garbage is utilized to generate power.
 
(Me: An idea to chew with a relish).
 
Weird world
 
Man shoots at waiter for not eating leftovers.
 
A 27-year-old-man alleged opened fire at a waiter of an eatery near Connaught place, New Delhi, on Sunday morning for not eating his leftover food.  The accused and his two friends went to Jain Dhaba (= local name for an eatery) at Connaught Place around 6.30 a.m.  The three men ordered breakfast and midway through the meal, they called for water.  They alleged that the food was cold and stale but the waiter told them that it was fresh, following which they forced him to eat the leftover food.  When he refused to eat the leftovers, one of the accused took out a pistol from his pocket and fired twice at him.
 
Weird wildlife news...
 
Elephants given vodka to help them survive freezing cold.
 
Two circus elephants were given vodka to help them survive when their trailer caught fire in freezing Siberia.  Their quick-thinking handler resorted to the traditional Russian cure for all ills by buying two cases of vodka from a nearby village, diluting it with warm water, and serving it to Indian elephants, Jenny and Magda.  He grew desperate after realizing that making them run round the broken truck was not enough to prevent them freezing to death.  �After drinking the vodka they roared as if they were in the jungle!  Apparently they were happy,� he said.
 
Fact of the matter�
 
Because Napoleon believed hat armies marched on their stomachs, he offered a prize in 1795 for a practical way of preserving food.  The prize was won by a French inventor, Nicholas Appert.  What he devised was canning.
 
Health info.
 
What's good substitute for French fries?
 
You can now buy sweet potato fries at the supermarket.  Sweet potatoes have a beneficial effect on a blood sugar metabolism.  They're delicious, too.
 
Teacher: If I give you 2 rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way.  If I give you two apples and two apples and Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good.  Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how another two applies, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now.
 
�Power over a man's subsistence is power over his will� � Alexander Hamilton
 
(Me: that's why politicians offer goodies to the poor voters on election eve...).
 
Hitesh married one of a pair of identical twins.  Less than a year of marriage, he filed a divorce plea in court.
The judge said: �Inform the court why you want a divorce�
Hitesh replied: �Every now and then, my sister-in-law comes over for a visit.  Because she and my wife are identical, sometimes I end up making love to her by mistake.�
The judge said: �Surely, there must be some difference between the two women.�
A puzzled Hitesh said: �Exactly.  That's why I want the divorce!�
 
And a thought for the day�
 
There is merit without elevation, but there is no elevation without some merit� La Rocherfoucauld

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[www.keralites.net] The 5 Qualities of Remarkable Bosses

 

Consistently do these five things and the results you want from your employees--and your business--will follow.

Getty

 

 
 

Remarkable bosses aren't great on paper. Great bosses are remarkable based on their actions.

Results are everything—but not the results you might think.

Consistently do these five things and everything else follows. You and your business benefit greatly.

More importantly, so do your employees.

1. Develop every employee. Sure, you can put your primary focus on reaching targets, achieving results, and accomplishing concrete goals—but do that and you put your leadership cart before your achievement horse.

Without great employees, no amount of focus on goals and targets will ever pay off. Employees can only achieve what they are capable of achieving, so it's your job to help all your employees be more capable so they—and your business—can achieve more.

It's your job to provide the training, mentoring, and opportunities your employees need and deserve. When you do, you transform the relatively boring process of reviewing results and tracking performance into something a lot more meaningful for your employees: Progress, improvement, and personal achievement.

So don't worry about reaching performance goals. Spend the bulk of your time developing the skills of your employees and achieving goals will be a natural outcome.

Plus it's a lot more fun.

2. Deal with problems immediately. Nothing kills team morale more quickly than problems that don't get addressed. Interpersonal squabbles, performance issues, feuds between departments... all negatively impact employee motivation and enthusiasm.

And they're distracting, because small problems never go away. Small problems always fester and grow into bigger problems. Plus, when you ignore a problem your employees immediately lose respect for you, and without respect, you can't lead.

Never hope a problem will magically go away, or that someone else will deal with it. Deal with every issue head-on, no matter how small.

3. Rescue your worst employee. Almost every business has at least one employee who has fallen out of grace: Publicly failed to complete a task, lost his cool in a meeting, or just can't seem to keep up. Over time that employee comes to be seen by his peers—and by you—as a weak link.

While that employee may desperately want to "rehabilitate" himself, it's almost impossible. The weight of team disapproval is too heavy for one person to move.

But it's not too heavy for you.

Before you remove your weak link from the chain, put your full effort into trying to rescue that person instead. Say, "John, I know you've been struggling but I also know you're trying. Let's find ways together that can get you where you need to be." Express confidence. Be reassuring. Most of all, tell him you'll be there every step of the way.

Don't relax your standards. Just step up the mentoring and coaching you provide.

If that seems like too much work for too little potential outcome, think of it this way. Your remarkable employees don't need a lot of your time; they're remarkable because they already have these qualities. If you're lucky, you can get a few percentage points of extra performance from them. But a struggling employee has tons of upside; rescue him and you make a tremendous difference.

Granted, sometimes it won't work out. When it doesn't, don't worry about it. The effort is its own reward.

And occasionally an employee will succeed—and you will have made a tremendous difference in a person's professional and personal life.

Can't beat that.

4. Serve others, not yourself. You can get away with being selfish or self-serving once or twice... but that's it.

Never say or do anything that in any way puts you in the spotlight, however briefly. Never congratulate employees and digress for a few moments to discuss what you did.

If it should go without saying, don't say it. Your glory should always be reflected, never direct.

When employees excel, you and your business excel. When your team succeeds, you and your business succeed. When you rescue a struggling employee and they become remarkable, remember they should be congratulated, not you.

You were just doing your job the way a remarkable boss should.

When you consistently act as if you are less important than your employees—and when you never ask employees to do something you don't do—everyone knows how important you really are.

5. Always remember where you came from. See an autograph seeker blown off by a famous athlete and you might think, "If I was in a similar position I would never do that."

Oops. Actually, you do. To some of your employees, especially new employees, you are at least slightly famous. You're in charge. You're the boss.

That's why an employee who wants to talk about something that seems inconsequential may just want to spend a few moments with you.

When that happens, you have a choice. You can blow the employee off... or you can see the moment for its true importance: A chance to inspire, reassure, motivate, and even give someone hope for greater things in their life. The higher you rise the greater the impact you can make—and the greater your responsibility to make that impact.

In the eyes of his or her employees, a remarkable boss is a star.

Remember where you came from, and be gracious with your stardom.

M Junaid Tahir
 
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[www.keralites.net] Nun's story!

 

Nun's story!
~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun

 

She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies, 'I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.  I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.' 

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1 - you have to be single and

#2 - you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says,

'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK,' the nun says, 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me, but I've sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'


=

 

 

 

 


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