*The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
*When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep --not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
*Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
*Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
*Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils – (Louis H Berlioz )
*Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
*Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
*I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
*I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. (A. Whitney Brown )
*The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like aslong as it is not poison, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
*In God we trust says the US dollar; all others must pay cash.
*Everyone believes in something. I believe I'll have another beer for New Year.
*Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. – (Mrs. White, Clue 1985)
*Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. – (Jerry Garcia)
*Politics is the art of differing with any opinion suggested by the opposing party even if it benefits the nation. (T.C's opinion)
*Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
*Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – ( Maryon Pearson)
*There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy for you. Her heart. Have you tried it?
*"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." You only reap the benefits after your death, which goes to some undeserving legal heirs. – (Al Bundy)
*You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.- (Homer Simpson)
*The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.- (Robert Bloch). That's the style of political leadership today.
*I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. – (George Bush)
*Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
*There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
*My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. – (Socrates)
*There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.
*Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest ( to either men or women).
*Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! The standard quote of most people pronounced guilty by court.
*Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
Posted by: "K.G. GOPALAKRISHNAN" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
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