Wednesday, 3 September 2014

[www.keralites.net] Wise Thoughts: Blaming Something or Someone

 

When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don't want it to be done and when we are not able to accept it, we become angry.

However, When someone is doing something or is about to do something, in a way we don't want it to be done - and we are able to accept it- we remain tolerant.

When someone has something which we don't have,

or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce- and we are not able to accept it – we become jealous.

When someone has something which we don't have, or someone is able to produce the results which we are not able to produce and we are able to accept it we get inspired.

Then emotional equation is quite simple.
Something + Acceptance = Positive Emotion
Something + Non Acceptance = Negative Emotion

So, it is not 'something' or 'someone' who is making us feel positive or negative, but it is our 'acceptance'  or 'non acceptance' of something or someone, which is making us feel positive or negative.

It isn't the world but the quality of our response to the world that determines the quality of our emotions. Next time we feel disturbed with a negative emotion, instead of asking who or what is disturbing us, we will examine who or what we are resisting (not accepting) that is causing this disturbance in us. We will replace resistance (non acceptance) with acceptance, and the negative emotion will turn into a positive one.

Emotional management begins by stopping to blame that 'something' or 'someone' and starting to take the responsibility to respond life with 'acceptance'. 


 
source: unknown

 

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Posted by: Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com>
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[www.keralites.net] Story: It's Never Too Late

 

A little lengthy story showing the fact that we assume others are happier than us, have less troubles in life which may not be the case at all.
 

It was an unusually busy day for the hospital staff on the sixth floor. Ten new patients were admitted and Nurse Susan spent the morning and afternoon checking them in.
Her friend Sharron, an aide, prepared ten rooms for the patients and made sure they were comfortable. After they were finished she grabbed Sharron and said, "We deserve a break. Let's go eat."
Sitting across from each other in the noisy cafeteria, Susan noticed Sharron absently wiping the moisture off the outside of her glass with her thumbs. Her face reflected a weariness that came from more than just a busy day.
"You're pretty quiet. Are you tired, or is something wrong?" – Susan asked.
Sharron hesitated. However, seeing the sincere concern in her friend's face, she confessed, "I can't do this the rest of my life, Susan. I have to find a higher-paying job to provide for my family. We barely get by. If it weren't for my parents keeping my kids, well, we wouldn't make it."
Susan noticed the bruises on Sharron's wrists peeking out from under her jacket.
"What about your husband?"
"We can't count on him. He can't seem to hold a job. He's got . . . problems."
"Sharron, you're so good with patients, and you love working here. Why don't you go to school and become a nurse? There's financial help available, and I'm sure your parents would agree to keep the kids while you are in class."
"It's too late for me, Susan; I'm too old for school. I've always wanted to be a nurse, that's why I took this job as an aide; at least I get to care for patients."
"How old are you?" – Susan asked.
"Let's just say I'm thirty-something."
Susan pointed at the bruises on Sharron's wrists. "I'm familiar with 'problems' like these. Honey, it's never too late to become what you've dreamed of. Let me tell you how I know."
Susan began sharing a part of her life few knew about. It was something she normally didn't talk about, only when it helped someone else.
"I first married when I was thirteen years old and in the eighth grade."
Sharron gasped.
"My husband was twenty-two. I had no idea he was violently abusive. We were married six years and I had three sons. One night my husband beat me so savagely he knocked out all my front teeth. I grabbed the boys and left.
"At the divorce settlement, the judge gave our sons to my husband because I was only nineteen and he felt I couldn't provide for them. The shock of him taking my babies left me gasping for air. To make things worse, my ex took the boys and moved, cutting all contact I had with them.
"Just like the judge predicted, I struggled to make ends meet. I found work as a waitress, working for tips only. Many days my meals consisted of milk and crackers. The most difficult thing was the emptiness in my soul. I lived in a tiny one-room apartment and the loneliness would overwhelm me. I longed to play with my babies and hear them laugh."
She paused. Even after four decades, the memory was still painful. Sharron's eyes filled with tears as she reached out to comfort Susan. Now it didn't matter if the bruises showed.
Susan continued, "I soon discovered that waitresses with grim faces didn't get tips, so I hid behind a smiling mask and pressed on. I remarried and had a daughter. She became my reason for living, until she went to college.
"Then I was back where I started, not knowing what to do with myself – until the day my mother had surgery. I watched the nurses care for her and thought: I can do that. The problem was, I only had an eighth-grade education. Going back to high school seemed like a huge mountain to conquer. I decided to take small steps toward my goal. The first step was to get my GED. My daughter used to laugh at how our roles reversed. Now I was burning the midnight oil and asking her questions."
Susan paused and looked directly in Sharron's eyes. "I received my diploma when I was forty-six years old."
Tears streamed down Sharron's cheeks. Here was someone offering the key that might unlock the door in her dark life.
"The next step was to enroll in nursing school. For two long years I studied, cried and tried to quit. But my family wouldn't let me. I remember calling my daughter and yelling, 'Do you realize how many bones are in the human body, and I have to know them all! I can't do this, I'm forty-six years old!' But I did. Sharron, I can't tell you how wonderful it felt when I received my cap and pin."
Sharron's lunch was cold, and the ice had melted in her tea by the time Susan finished talking. Reaching across the table and taking Sharron's hands, Susan said, "You don't have to put up with abuse. Don't be a victim – take charge. You will be an excellent nurse. We will climb this mountain together."
Sharron wiped her mascara-stained face with her napkin. "I had no idea you suffered so much pain. You seem like someone who has always had it together."
"I guess I've developed an appreciation for the hardships of my life," Susan answered. "If I use them to help others, then I really haven't lost a thing. Sharron, promise me that you will go to school and become a nurse. Then help others by sharing your experiences."
Sharron promised. In a few years she became a registered nurse and worked alongside her friend until Susan retired. Sharron never forgot her colleague or the rest of her promise.
Now Sharron sits across the table taking the hands of those who are bruised in body and soul, telling them, "It's never too late. We will climb this mountain together."
By Linda Carol Apple

 

Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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Posted by: Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com>
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[www.keralites.net] Bawa Joke

 
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[www.keralites.net] WHEN WE ARE OLD, WHOM DO we depend on .....?

 

Ourselves, ourselves, only ourselves
(The truth, as disclosed by a group of old folks)
 
A GENERAL BIT OF ADVICE
 
  • Have your own abodeNo matter what, do not lose it, until your death!
  • If you have an old companion, keep each other good company.
  • Watch your health while it is still good.
  • Maintain a positive outlook and you will be happy.
  • Now, our health is still good, our mind still clear.
  • But on whom can we depend in our old age?
 
We will have to analyse in various stages.
 
1st Stage:
  • Just after retirement, between 60 to 70 yrs old, our health will still be comparatively good. So too our financial means.
  • Eat moderately while we have the means. At times, wear what we fancy.
  • Those who like it, have some fun.
  • Do not be hard on yourself
  • Our days are numbered, so, grasp the opportunity.
  • Have some savings!
  • Keep the house!
  • Make arrangements for the days ahead or retreat.
  • If the kids are well off, it is their business ...
  • If the kids are filial, they have good traits ....
  • We need neither decline financial help from our kids nor decline their respect.
  • But we should remain independent and live our own life well.
 
2nd Stage:
  • If no mishap and illness strike after we are 70, we will still be able to take care of ourselves. Not a major problem.
  • However, we must realise we are really getting old gradually, our body and mind will give way.
  • Our reflexes will slow down with time.
  • We will have to eat slowly, to avoid choking.
  • We will have to walk slowly, to avoid falls.
  • We can no longer put on a front, we have to look after ourselves!
  • Do not meddle anymore with this and that, or control the kids!
  • Some even interfere with the third generation!!!
  • We have intervened our entire life, It is time for us to be a little selfish!
  • Take hold of ourselves. Life must come full circle.
  • Help with the cleaning chores.
  • Try to maintain our health for as long as possible.
  • Give ourselves more opportunities to take control of our own life.
  • We lead an easier life when we do not have to solicit help from others.
 
3rd Stage:
  • Our health begins to fail. We have to request help from others. We have to be mentally prepared for it.
  • The majority of us cannot escape this hurdle.
  • We have to prepare ourselves, emotionally, to accept that in life, living and aging, sickness and death are milestones we have to encounter.
  • This is the final stage in life.
  • Nothing to fear!
  • Be prepared for it in advance and we will not be too depressed.
  • Either check into a private nursing home or an old folks home.
  • Depending on affordability, of course.
  • There must be a way out.
  • The idea is not to add to the kids'; burden, emotionally, increase their chores and their financial commitments.
  • Try our best to overcome -
  • What hardship has our generation not endured?
  • What disasters have we not experienced?
  • Trust us to take life';s last lap in our stride.
 
4th Stage:
  • Our mind is still clear, but we are terminally ill, when our quality of life has deteriorated drastically.
  • We must be courageous enough to face death!
  • Insist that the family not try to prolong our life: Do not incur unnecessary expenditure.
 
 
WHEN WE ARE OLD, WHOM DO WE DEPEND ON:-
Ourselves,
Ourselves,
Only OURSELVES .................

 

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Posted by: Murli dhar Gupta <mdguptabpl@gmail.com>
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