Wednesday 25 February 2015

[www.keralites.net] How to Stop Being Shy - Competence over Confidence

 



 


 

If you don't have a nice circle of friends, that are fun and who also encourage you to get ahead in life, then you're either shy about meeting and making friends, or you're not exactly sure about how to do it. On the other hand, perhaps you're already trying to meet new people, but you're not getting the results you want, because you're not using the best strategies that could easily bring great people into your life.

In this article, I want to share with you how you can stop shyness from sabotaging your social life, and how to start meeting friends.

How to Stop Being Shy – Competence over Confidence

If you want to "beat" your shyness by learning to build confidence, it can take you a long time, because shyness is deeply wired into your emotions.

Instead of trying to change your shyness, I recommend that you focus on learning how to do what shyness is preventing you from doing.

Social Competence is key. The more you know about how the social world works, and how to socialize, the less discouraging mistakes you'll make, and the more friends you'll have.

Here are a couple of tips you can use:

Tip #1 – How to get comfortable in a social situation

If you're shy about going to a party, or to a social gathering, then a simple switch that can help is to go EARLY. If you do this, you'll give yourself some time to get used to the surrounding and feel comfortable gradually before it gets crowded with people.

If you know the host, then you could offer to help out. That might allow you to be more comfortable by having something to do.

Tip #2 – What to do when people invite you, but you are nervous about accepting

Do you find yourself in the situation of declining people's invitations, but regretting it afterwards, because you know you want to go?

What you can do in this situation, is to accept the invitation, and have a back-up plan. This allows you to leave the place if you get too nervous and can't handle the social pressure. You can tell the person that invited you that you don't know how long you can stay, because you're expecting a call from someone and you may need to leave to help him or her out with something.

This allows you to either stay if you feel comfortable, or leave, if you don't. Either way, you win.

Tip #3 – How to clearly express your opinion, if you're not used to it

Expressing your opinion is important, but if you're not used to doing it, it can feel scary. One way to overcome this is to use humor. Offering ideas in a light or even silly manner is less intimidating.

The more you focus on HOW to socialize, the quicker you'll find answers. I suggest that you stay open to new ideas when it comes to social skills like keeping conversations going, meeting people, and building your social circle

Source: LifeHack.
 


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Posted by: Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com>
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[www.keralites.net] The Ultimate Habit of Happiness - 7 Aspects

 



 

Do you think happiness is a state that only a few can achieve?

I think Happiness is your birth right, it is available to each and every one of us.

But if this is true why does it elude so many?

It eludes so many of us because our habits don't support a life of harmony and happiness. I have heard it said that our collective habits determine the quality of our lives, in that case we need to ensure that our habits are positive and help us work towards creating an overall habit of happiness

There are many constructive habits that will help bring us more joy

  1. The Act of Gratitude
    Any time you spend giving thanks and appreciating all that you have in life is time that will be misery free. It is very difficult to feel low or depressed when feeling grateful.
  2. Doing what you love
    Spending each day doing what you love will ensure a more meaningful life. According to Scott Dinsmore, of Live Your Ledgend, in his TEDX talk
    How to Find and Do Work You Love 80% of people work in jobs they don't enjoy.
  3. Exercise
    Exercise has a multitude of benefits, health, well being, mood, increases energy and helps you to sleep better. Fit people are more productive and generally happier.
  4. Living in the Moment
    Practicing the art of mindfulness is another sure-fire way to be happier. Living in the moment eradicates any future worries or past regrets.
  5. Helping others
    Another tried and tested manner to create more happiness, giving is just as powerful as receiving. Those who live helping others have a greater sense of purpose and live more meaningful lives.
  6. Nurturing Positive Thoughts
    So many people forget that their thoughts are within their own control and allow negative thoughts to overtake their minds. If you want to live a happy and successful life you cannot afford a negative thought.
  7. Smiling
    Apparently smiling releases serotonin, a chemical that makes us happy. Smiling even when we don't really feel it will have the same effect.

While we know that all of these things contribute to our overall happiness why are so many of us still going around miserable?

 
Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com
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Posted by: Junaid Tahir <mjunaidtahir@gmail.com>
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[www.keralites.net] 13 Reasons Why Juttis Are The Coolest Slip Ons Ever

 

There are the ballet flats, crocs and of course, Steve Madden's strapy flats, but nothing can beat our traditional jutti's. Here are 12 reasons why it deserves the label of being the coolest slip on ever!

1. It serves the purpose of both flip flops and shoes.

Flip flops because it is damn easy to slip your feet inside it and shoes because your feet are entirely covered. Also, if the jutti has a nice strong sole, it will last forever!

2. It is perfect for any occasion.

Weddings or other formal occasions, wearing a jutti is never a fail. Even wearing it with a jeans and a white shirt will land you endless compliments.

3. And the varieties never end.

Simple, colorful, with sequences or with simple golden piping, there is just no dearth of Jutti styles. In fact, a lot of Indian designers have ventured into making customized juttis and they are doing a good job.

4. They are not really heavy on the pocket

They are really affordable and can never look bad.

5. Keeping alive the traditional feel

Of course, Jutti's are made in the villages of Punjab, Haryana and Rajasthan. They are made by craftsmen, embroiders who have learnt from the best. Some of them had Jutti making as their ancestral business. 

6. We love the fact that they are just so Indian.

They are the best thing to give to your NRI relatives- reasonable, fancy and ethnic.Three in one, definitely a win-win.

7. They are very convenient to hide your chipped nail paint

No need to tie laces or struggle to tie any straps, simply put them on. No hassle at all. If someone turns to your house on a short notice and you don't want to show them your dirty feet, you know what to do.

8. Source of inspiration for many Punjabi songs

Enter Punjab and you'll hear the most bizarre songs , the inspiration of which is our very own 'jutti'. One of them is ' Jutti da Kasoor." And believe you me, you cannot miss that number.


9. Mothers in Punjab are extremely dependent on it


Especially from Mummy - "Mein ten juttiyaan marni hai," and "Chal hat! Jutti meri." From hitting the kids to threatening them, Jutti has been a Punjabi mother's unconditional support.

10. Look equally good on men and women both

Undoubtedly. The girls can carry them with a lot of grace and boys who wear jutti's belong create a very different style statement.

11. You can skate with them

Blame the rugged sole, you can actually skid on the floor, but that's fun right?

12. Unlike loafers, they are sorted

You cannot wear socks with jutti's. And if you wearing, then my friend, you're a fashion disaster.

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Posted by: Fereshteh Jamshidi <fayjay81@yahoo.com>
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