Sunday, 16 December 2012

[] Khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 17/12/12


Armed man wearing 'Romney Mask' robs US Bank.
An armed man in a Mitt Romney mask has robbed a Wells Fargo bank in Virginia, USA.  The armed robber, wearing the Romney mask, methodically robbed all five tellers at the bank in suburban Washington, DC.
A mistake in judgment isn't fatal, but too much anxiety about judgment is.
Not so-weird news�
Chinese workers build skyscraper around tomb...
Chinese workers have been forced to build a massive residential complex around a tomb after locals in north China's Shanxi province refused a compensation amount for the construction on a burial site.  The bizarre circumstances arose after locals in Shanxi province refused 1,70,000 dollars offered as compensation for the sacred land where their ancestors lie buried.
(Me: This is no news for us Mumbaites: here cemeteries/crematoriums and residential apartment blocks live check by jowl because space is such a premium in the city)
Man: Is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but it will avoid getting such thoughts.
Think it over
�Five years is nothing in a man's life except when he is very young and very old� �Pearl S. Buck.
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
(Me: Yep, apparently.)
Tongue very much in cheek�
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
Line Maro
Compared to you, the sun feels cold.
(Me: Will burn you down, with pleasure)
News of the day�
FDA to burn gutkha to generate electricity...
Gutka (a tobacco-based chewing item) packets seized by the Food and Drug administration (FDA) every since the July 16 ban may soon be put to some good use.  While brainstorming ways to dispose the packets, the FDA came up with the novel idea of sending them to a waste management plant in Pune where the garbage is utilized to generate power.
(Me: An idea to chew with a relish).
Weird world
Man shoots at waiter for not eating leftovers.
A 27-year-old-man alleged opened fire at a waiter of an eatery near Connaught place, New Delhi, on Sunday morning for not eating his leftover food.  The accused and his two friends went to Jain Dhaba (= local name for an eatery) at Connaught Place around 6.30 a.m.  The three men ordered breakfast and midway through the meal, they called for water.  They alleged that the food was cold and stale but the waiter told them that it was fresh, following which they forced him to eat the leftover food.  When he refused to eat the leftovers, one of the accused took out a pistol from his pocket and fired twice at him.
Weird wildlife news...
Elephants given vodka to help them survive freezing cold.
Two circus elephants were given vodka to help them survive when their trailer caught fire in freezing Siberia.  Their quick-thinking handler resorted to the traditional Russian cure for all ills by buying two cases of vodka from a nearby village, diluting it with warm water, and serving it to Indian elephants, Jenny and Magda.  He grew desperate after realizing that making them run round the broken truck was not enough to prevent them freezing to death.  �After drinking the vodka they roared as if they were in the jungle!  Apparently they were happy,� he said.
Fact of the matter�
Because Napoleon believed hat armies marched on their stomachs, he offered a prize in 1795 for a practical way of preserving food.  The prize was won by a French inventor, Nicholas Appert.  What he devised was canning.
Health info.
What's good substitute for French fries?
You can now buy sweet potato fries at the supermarket.  Sweet potatoes have a beneficial effect on a blood sugar metabolism.  They're delicious, too.
Teacher: If I give you 2 rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way.  If I give you two apples and two apples and Paddy: Six.
Teacher: Good.  Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how another two applies, how many apples have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now.
�Power over a man's subsistence is power over his will� � Alexander Hamilton
(Me: that's why politicians offer goodies to the poor voters on election eve...).
Hitesh married one of a pair of identical twins.  Less than a year of marriage, he filed a divorce plea in court.
The judge said: �Inform the court why you want a divorce�
Hitesh replied: �Every now and then, my sister-in-law comes over for a visit.  Because she and my wife are identical, sometimes I end up making love to her by mistake.�
The judge said: �Surely, there must be some difference between the two women.�
A puzzled Hitesh said: �Exactly.  That's why I want the divorce!�
And a thought for the day�
There is merit without elevation, but there is no elevation without some merit� La Rocherfoucauld

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