Think about It....
Every one is crying hoarse about an Italian held hostage by the maoists. But no one seems to even notice that an Indian PM has been held hostage by an ITALIAN for the last 10 years. Not even us Indians. Even if some do WHO CARES. Any mediators?
*******
Treating a cough.
Macist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall"?
The clerk responds, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxatives."
The pharmacist yells, "You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The clerk responds, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
*******
A wife says to her husband - "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair."
*******
What is the Time?
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.
Unfortunately, his watch had stopped and he couldn't tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time"?
The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, pulls out a carpenter's level and assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3:29 p.m., provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is."
The man can't help but be impressed by this demonstration and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, "That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow"?
The patient holds up his wrist and says, "I suppose I'd just look at my watch."
*******
~Josh Billings
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
~John Fitzgerald Kennedy
*******
Hiccups
While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took his check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute, she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.
"Why not"? the man asked incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,"
she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5,000."
"It can't be!" he cried. "You have to be kidding!"
"Yes, I am," she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. "But you will notice that your hiccups are gone."
*******
www.keralites.net          |
To subscribe send a mail to Keralites-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Send your posts to Keralites@yahoogroups.com.
Send your suggestions to Keralites-owner@yahoogroups.com.
To unsubscribe send a mail to Keralites-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Homepage: www.keralites.net
No comments:
Post a Comment