Thursday 7 March 2013

[www.keralites.net] Khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 7/3/13

 

 
Coconut helps prevent obesity by speeding up metabolism and provides on immediate source of energy with fewer calories than other fats.
 
(Me: this runs contrary to our current popular wisdom.  Anyways, moderation in anything is key to good health).
**
 
 
News of the day..
 
Agitating teachers who are boycotting all exam-related work and disrupting board exams, govt. may cut their salaries.
 
(Teachers, once considered gurus, are stooping to any low to extract their pound of flesh.  Some 10 or 15 years, teaching was considered a very-low paying profession and few were took to it; the joke then was the 2nd and 3rd raters joined this profession!  Now the pendulum has swung to the other extreme: they and other government employees are the HIGHEST paid in the land, thanx to the extravagant bounties one Pay Commission after another, set up by the union government, award them with unfailing regularity.  Let there be a reference among the tax-paying public whether the taxes squeezed out of their hard money should be frittered to pay fat salaries and pension to not-so-worthy government servants and not for development and welfare activities to benefit the public).
 
**
 
Think it over…
 
"Men do not shape destiny.  Destiny produces the man for the hour" – Fidel Castro.
 
(Me: Rings like Lord Krishna's word – "sambavaami yuge, yuge".  But that more looks like pure n unadulterated mythology: for example, why come no Man of Destiny, not yet born in this blessed country of ours?
 
**
 
Line Maro
 
Hi, I'm Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me.
 
(Me: am looking for Sallu yani ki if u didn't know it, Salman..).
 
**
 
Weird world…
 
Man faked own kidnapping to avoid girlfriend's wrath.
 
A 34-yeard-old man from Brooklyn, who went missing for a week, has been charged with faking his own kidnapping, to avoid his girlfriend's wrath.  Wallace went missing on Feb 19, and was found hog-tied, with his hands, legs, and mouth covered in duct tape, a few blocks from his home a week later.  A police spokeswoman said he later admitted it was a ploy to escape the wrath of his girlfriend, whom he had failed to call for the past couple weeks.
 
**
Weird world…
 
Church leaders angered by loo roll Bible quotes.
 
A toilet paper company has removed Biblical quotes from a line of loo rolls after complaints from church leaders.
 
Metsa Tissue, the Finnish company behind the Lambi brand, launched the product to 'spread love and joy'.  It was intended to feature 'witty quotes and philosophical messages' but accidentally included a number of Biblical quotes.
 
The company spokesman said: "People like to read small, happy messages while sitting on the toilet.  Our intention was to spread love and joy, not religious messages.  The vast majority of the feedback has been positive".
**
 
Man to wife: "We only have real sugar for our coffee at work.  Somebody decided that the pink and blue sweetener packets are sexist"
 
(Anti-sexism going berserk…)
**
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4.44 am by his ringing telephone.  "Your dog's keeping me awake," said an angry voice.  Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
 
The next morning at precisely 4:44 am, Bernard called his neighbor back.  "Good morning, Mr. Williams… Just called to say that I don't have a dog."
 
**
 
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop.  He shouted to the doctor to come over.  The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked up.
 
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doc.  I also open hearts, take valves out, grind them, put in new parts, and when I finish, this will work as a new one.  So how come you get the big money, while I don't?"
 
The doctor leaned over and whispered: "Try doing all this when the engine is running!"

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