Tuesday 23 April 2013

[www.keralites.net] khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 24/4/13

 

Pun fun…
 
Rob: What do you think the bald man say when he was given a comb as a birthday present?
 
Bob: Don't know.
 
Rob: He said, "Thanks, I'll never part with it"
 
**
 
Woman to husband: "You don't have to apologize for your shortcomings. I like feeling superior to you!"
 
**
 
Sci-comedy…
 
What are the most annoying noises to the human ear?
 
Most-annoying noises include: knife on a bottle, fork on a glass, chalk on a blackboard, fingernails on a blackboard, squealing bike brakes, baby crying, an electric drill and FEMALE SCREAM!
 
**
 
Tongue very much in cheek….
 
"If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping? – Anonymous.
 
**
 
The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning.
 
"I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Shah is on another line."
 
"Oh, I'd only like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."
 
"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied, "Right now; I'd say he's sheepish."
 
**
 
Cartoon quip… Defence lawyer to judge: "My client is Sanjay Dutt's fan. She wants time to see ALL the films he's completing before she's jailed!"
 
**
 
Weird world…
 
Powder packs found inside rescued goats…
 
Several packets of what is suspected to be contraband have been found inside three goats that were operated in a Mumbai Veterinary hospital on Tuesday. The three goats were among a herd of 31 goats found on a vessel that was coming from Dubai, off the Mumbai coast. Six of the 31 goats were found dead when the vessel was intercepted by the coastguards…
 
 
(Me: hmmm. A new modus operandi for smuggling in contraband… THE goat – literally…)
**
 
Main wins Rs.1 crore lottery, dies before claiming it.
 
Kottayam, Kerala: In a cruel twist of fate, a 25-year-old labourer, who won a Rs.1 crore bumper lottery prize, drowned in an irrigation pool before he could claim the money.
 
(Me: that's certainly weird, for one has hitherto heard of only people dying of cardiac arrest owing to too much sorrow or happiness…)
 
**
 
US woman finds circus tiger in bathroom.
 
Kansas: A woman got the shock of her life on Saturday when she found herself sharing a bathroom with a tiger. Salina resident Jenna K was at the Isis Shrine Circus with her daughter when she went to the bathroom during the show. The big cat had escaped after its turn in the ring and had wandered into the bathroom while staff were hunting for it everywhere…
 
**
 
From the world of science…
 
Way to starve and kill cancer tumours found…
 
Genetic study helps spot potential drug targets whose nutrition supply can be blocked.
 
Washington: A massive study analyzing gene expression data from 22 tumour types has identified hundreds of potential drug targets to starve cancer tumours. The potential drug targets can cut off a tumour's fuel supply or interfere with its ability to synthesize essential building blocks. The results should ramp up research into drugs that interfere with cancer metabolism.
 
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This software tells how to treat cancer patients…
 
Doctors may begin regularly using computer predictions in judging how to treat cancer patients after scientists constructed mathematical formulas that outperformed human experts in forecasting how sufferers will respond to treatment. A computer model of lung cancer made consistently better predictions of the future symptoms suffered by a set of patients undergoing radiotherapy or chemotherapy than the doctors who actually treated them.
 
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Eating tree nuts can cut heart disease risk…
 
Researchers found that tree nut (almonds, cashews and walnuts) consumption was associated with a better nutrient profile, lower body weight and lower prevalence of metabolic syndrome; and a decrease in cardiovascular risk factors compared to those seen among non-consumers.
 
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Cauliflower prevents cancer and shields against rheumatoid arthritis.
 
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Wiping your soles with cotton soaked in rubbing alcohol will keep your feet free from odour-causing bacteria.
 
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Think it over…
 
"In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime" – APJ Abdul Kalam, ex-Prez.
 
**
 
TODAY

This is an Opportunity to Do A work better than Yesterday
 
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Strange world this…

Poor people walk miles to get food and rich people walk miles to digest food !!
 
**
 
Log kapdo ke style pe
na jane kitne Paise barbaad karte hain..
Jabki zindagi ke sabse hasin pal,
bina kapdo ke guzarte hai..
 
 
 
 
 
Apna BACHPAN yaad aaya?

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