Man in US faces jail for LOL!
New York: A laugh riot may land you in jail! A US man is facing 30 days in jail or $500 fine for laughing too loud in his own home.42-year-old Robert Schiavelli of Rockvile Centre, New York received the tickets for "disturbing the peace" on consecutive days in February after police responded to his neighbour's complaining that his laughter could be heard across the street.
(Me: LOL!).
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Some good news from the government of India…… at L A S T…
Govt. to set up helpdesks for public services..
Soon, applying for key services, from birth certificates to passports to pension schemes, may get simpler as government departments get ready to set up desks to help citizens with tips and checks to ensure a hassle-free application process.
The Right of Citizens for Time Bound Delivery of Goods and Services and Redressal of the Grievances Bill – quite a mouthful, na? – passed by the union cabinet on Thursday – will make it mandatory for all government departments having direct interface with citizens to have facilitation centres. A government official who does not meet the deadline can be fined up to Rs.50,000.
(Me: chalo, a good beginning has been made. Of course, one cannot count the chickens before they are hatched coz. our babus are cleverly adept at de-railing the best of government schemes or ideas that may eventually lead to some accountability on their part or where they cannot squeeze out some cash from the hapless aam janta in bribes. There is an old saying, "well-begun is half done"; but one only hopes it doesn't remain half done!).
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Line Maro
Do you work for NASA? Because you're out of this world.
(Me: hmmm. so, u r the Lilliputian from Mars that everyone talks about these days!).
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Tongue very much in cheek…
Work fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours!
(Me: And the pucca namoona yani ki perfect specimen? Doubtless, an average Indian babu!)
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See the clock only when you have no work, don't see the clock when you are working..clock is a lock for success...
(Me: Bt office-workers, esp. the civil servants, in this country are clock-watchers...!)
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Health tips…
Bananas have a natural antacid effect. If you suffer from heartburn, eat one for relief.
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Mono-saturated fat, protein and potassium contained in almonds are good for the heart.
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What's a good way to add healthy fiber to my diet?
Add 2 tbsp. of ground flax seeds to your yogurt or cereal. Use a food processor or a coffee grinder to grind up the seeds. The nutritional benefit of flax is lost if you eat flax seeds in their whole form.
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Woman to husband: "Today is the 10th anniversary of the 3rd time you forgot to bring me a gift to commemorate our 25th kiss"
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A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"Aw, Dad, it's okay" the son said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
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Wot a job!
Woman has to eat 200 pies a week on duty…
A British woman has revealed she has to eat 200 pies a week as part of her job. Emma, 3, earns her crust while working as a chief pie taster for a company. She admits that it is a "dream job".
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Surfing piglet makes waves in NZ
A piglet called Zorro is making waves in New Zealand with his surfing skills. The two-month-old pig=s owner, Matthew Bell, has been taking him out on the waves since he was only three weeks old, and calls the peg a "phenomenal swimmer".
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Weird world…
Mum who dressed son in 'I am a Bomb' tee faces fine.
A French woman faces a fine of $1,300 for sending her three-year-old son to kindergarten wearing a T-shirt that read "I am a bomb". The boy's uncle, who bought the T-shirt, said that the French phrase "je suis une bombe (I am a bomb)" was a slang expression for 'I am beautiful'.
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"I'm a Barbie Man"
Florida collector spends $80,000, to fill 4 bedrooms with 2,000 Barbides.
A 41-yer-old Florida man has revealed he spends $30,000 a year working on his Barbie doll collection which is thought to be worth a staggering $80,000. Stanley Colorite, also known as the Barbie Man, has 2,000 Barbies and 1,000 Ken figures with some of the prized dolls worth up to $1,000 each.
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News of the day…
My own daughter feels unsafe in Delhi: CM Shela Dikshit.
Admitting that statistics on crime against women in Delhi were shocking, Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit on Friday said her own daughter feels unsafe in the city. Expressing unhappiness over the law and order situation in Delhi, Dikshit said a lot has to be done to address the sense of insecurity among women in the city.
(No, the CM hasn't suddenly become duty-conscious, her own inability to control crimes against women or her conscience has suddenly has started pricking her. Law and order in Delhi is the responsibility of the Union government coz. Delhi is a union territory!)
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AB's dream…
He is the biggest superstar in Bollywood, so it comes as a surprise that Amitabh Bachhan wishes to become a journalist in his next life. In a reply to a fan's tweet, AB wrote on Twitter: "Next life? A journalist for sure! Shall have the joy and liberty to express and speak out without fear of any repercussions!!.
(News courtesy: HT Café, Mumbai edition, 8/3/13).
(Me: AB has superbly summed up the quality of journalists and journalism in India that thrive on sensationalism, exaggeration n hyperbole with gay abandon, objectivity and veracity be damned..)
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Tongue very much in cheek…
"Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old" – Abraham Lincoln
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Pun fun
"You don't need drugs to get high" – Anonymous.
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"Men of envy disparage everything whether good or bad" – PM
(Me: Absolutely true: jealousy is the vilest of all human emotions)
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Overhead at a kitty party:
"While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. And then He made the Earth round."
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World news…
63 fall ill after dining at world's No.1 restaurant.
Danish restaurant Noma, crowned the world's best restaurant three years running in one poll, on Friday apologized after 63 guests fell ill with sickness and diarrhoea after visiting the haute cuisine establishment.
(News courtesy: TOI, Mumbai edition, 9/3/13)
(Me: Food poisoning can strike anywhere, any time because maintaining 100% hygiene n cleanliness ALL THE TIME is impossible to achieve)
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Latest from the Bollywood phillum duniya…
"Doctor saab will manage my career from now on" – ex-Marquee Madhuri Dixit.
Madhuri has chucked out her secretary of 28 years, Rikku Rakeshnath, and appointed her husband, Dr. Shriram Nene, hitherto unemployed, in his place.
(Shriram saab, a heart surgeon by profession, remained unemployed ever since his return to India from US about a couple of years ago, to give company to his star-wife, Madhuri. The grateful lady has now offered her understanding mia a high-paid job…)
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Any time, Any problem, any problem, any help
Just give me one miss call.
I will give you
Another miss call
And we'll play miscall miscall.
(Me: This is called playing the miscall musical chair in modern day parlance..)
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