Thursday, 25 May 2017




Fun & Info @


Fun & Info @

Subject: HUMOR


After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, 
were separated by a move that posted one husband on the 
opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of 
communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical 
increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both 
owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic
mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that 
e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and 
have a conversation about the contents. 

I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted 
the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a 
16-year-old to drive will occur in the same week. 
A man took a ride in a stunt plane. The pilot dove and spun, 
putting the plane through its entire repertoire. When they
landed the passenger gasped, "Thank you for the rides!"
"That was only one ride," said the pilot. "I'll call it two," 
said the man. "My first and my last!"


My husband was a university student, and money was tight for our 
family of seven. We were attending a friend's wedding and our 
four-year-old daughter, Christy, was sitting next to me. When the 
minister asked, "Do you take this man for better or worse, for 
richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?" our daughter turned 
to me and said in a loud whisper, "You picked 'poorer,' 
didn't you, Mom?" 

My parents told me, "Finish your dinner. People in China and India 
are starving." I tell my daughters, "Finish your homework. People in 
India and China are starving for your job."

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to 
the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the 
valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at his 
official-looking vehicle, one of the valets asked my husband if he 
was driving a government car. "Why, yes," my husband replied, 
surprised by the question. "In fact it's an unmarked police car."
"Wow" the young man said, sliding behind the wheel. "This will be 
the first time I've been in the front seat."


  Steve, my accountant husband, and I both suffer from occasional bouts 
of insomnia. One night I suggested we try a technique I'd read about, 
which was to encourage relaxation. Laying with our eyes closed, I 
described a relaxing scene: "We're in a beautiful, oceanside bungalow 
on a tropical island. A gentle breeze is coming through the French 
doors that lead to our private ocean path."
A quiet voice startled me from my peaceful place; "How much is this 
vacation costing us?" Steve asked.


Fun & Info @


Driving through Oklahoma, my husband and I went out of our way to 
stop at what was billed as the largest McDonald's in the world.
However, we were less than thrilled when an employee addressed 
everyone over the intercom: "Attention, world's largest McDonald's 


On a truck lunch wagon in London: Sir Lunch A Lot.  

A woman traveling with her two-year-old son met a man who 
had eight children. She told him that she loved her son so 
much that she could not imagine dividing that love by eight. 
"Madam," the man gently replied, "you do not have to divide 
your love. You multiply it."


 There was the accountant who told his client, "There's good news, and 
there's bad news."
"Give me the bad news first," the client said nervously.
"The bad news is that your business is flat on its back."
The businessperson asked hopefully, "And what's the good news?"
"It's looking up."


I just saw that in our filing cabinet, my husband has all federal correspondence

labeled as "Dealings With The Man."


About a month or so ago, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia 
tree from our local nursery. After only a few weeks I noticed that 
the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared to be on its 
last legs in spite of my tender care.
So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery to demand 
an explanation or get my money back.
"I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager.
"Good!" I exclaimed. "What's it suffering from?"
You can imagine how stupid I felt when he simply said, "winter."


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