Tuesday, 2 April 2013

[www.keralites.net] Khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 2/4/13

 

News of the day…
 
Saudi Nitaqat norms to hit Indians hardest; Centre must help those hit by Saudi policy: CM Chandy.
 
Under the Nitaqat – or naturalization – policy 10% of jobs in all companies will be reserved for Saudi nationals.  Kerala CM, Chandy, will meet PM on Tuesday and urge the centre to take appropriate steps so that NRIs will not lose their work permits.  The state government is planning a comprehensive survey to identify the non-resident Keralites and their issues.
 
(Comment: Kerala pride isn't in high literacy levels.  Its pride isn't in organizing hartals/samarams/bandhs at the drop of a hat year round.  Its pride isn't in framing and enforcing anti-industry policies, right since Independence,  of course egged on by the militant, Ostrich-like-head-in-the-mud locals themselves, thus scaring the daylight out of potential investors from other states, let alone from abroad.  And its pride is CERTAINLY NOT driving lakhs of Malayalis to seek jobs in the harsh desert environs of the Gulf.  And pride isn't in deriding, as many of them do, the Gujarat model…
 
PRIDE IS IN CREATING JOBS AND RETAINING PEOPLE IN KERALA.
 
Now having created gigantic monster themselves, the Kerala government have the cheek and gumption to seek central government aid to bail their people out.   The big joke is the state government planning the survey to identify the non-residents' issue, as if it isn't as clear as the daylight: alternative jobs for them in Kerala!
 
**
God: What do you want?
 
Boy: A very beautiful girl.
 
God: If you are a Muslim, I'll give you Katrina.
If you are Hindu, I'll give you Kareena
If you are Sikh, I'll give you Anushka
And if you are Christian, I'll give you Genelia.
What is your name?
 
Boy: Abdul Vijay Singh Fernandes.
 
**
 
This may appear like a joke, but not in the real sense…
 
Two Pakistanis boarded a flight out of London.  One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat… Just before the take off, a Sardaji sat down in the aisle seat.
 
After the take-off, Sardarji kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Paki in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."
 
"Don't get up", said the Sardarji, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you."
 
 
 
As soon as he left, one of the Paki picked up the Sardarji's shoe and spat on it.  When the Sardarji returned with the coke, other Paki said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too".
 
Again the Sardarji obligingly went to the fetch it.  While he was gone, the other Paki picked up the Sardarji's other shoe and spat in it.
 
When the Sardarji returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.  As the plane was landing, the Sardarji slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.  He leaned over and asked his Paki neighbours…
 
"Why does it have to be this way?"  How long must this go on..?  This hatred…?  This animosity…?  This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes…?"
 
Courtesy:the KS column in HT
 
**
 
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Line Maro…
 
There's only one thing I want to change about you, your last name.
 
(Me: and the last thing she would do…)


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Learn English to succeed in modern world: Shashi Tharoor.
 
Thrissur: Strongly favouring the learning of English to succeed in the modern word, Union Minister of State for HRD Shashi Tharoor has said that denying children the chance to study the language would destroy their future.
 
(Me: He has truly hit the nail on the head.  Interested politicians as, for example, in TN extol the virtues of the their mother tongue and exhort people to learn it in schools and colleges, to the exclusion of all other languages; ironically the same politicians send their wards to international ivy schools and colleges abroad – some uninformed and ignoramus people of the states are also so obsessed with their matru bhasha.  Tens of thousands of Tamils are employed in the west and lead affluent life-styles that are much coveted  and sought after by parents of prospective brides and grooms!.  Had they not learnt English, all of them would be rotting in the state, like the proverbial frogs in the well…
 
**
Mind chow
 
He who stands for nothing will fall for anything
 
**
Pun fun…
 
I just saw an inflatable ATM machine, the screen said:
"Please do not enter PIN'

**
Katju's kaduva sachen (bitter truths..)
 
"90% of Indians, including the educated ones,  cast their votes by their castes – like sheep and cattle.
 
We are a very, very backward country.
 
The only way out is to propagate scientific thinking.
 
Calling poverty the root of India's problems, he said the West look down upon the country because of it.  We aren't respected because our country is poor.  We are 20 times larger in land and population (than France and Britain put together) but we still do not have a permanent seat in the UN Security Council – because we are poor"
 
**
 
Tweet of the day: "Waiting for Katju to seek pardon for Vijender Singh saying his body has already suffered a lot due to excessive drug consumption"
 
**
 
Weird world…
 
US cops bark like dogs to flush out suspects!
 
Police pretended to be K-9 dogs and started barking to try and lure two suspects out of house and end a standoff. New Haven Police Department said the two men had led officers on a car chase through the city before hiding themselves into a suburban house.  A standoff ensued, with the masked men refusing to come out.  As a dozen officers surrounded the house, police hostage negotiators threatened to unleash the canine units, but the dogs weren't available.  So they had officers pretend to bark like dogs and it worked.  The two suspects walked outside and were arrested on the spot.
 
**
Kerala Minister claims torture by wife.
 
Kerala Forest Minister K.B. Ganeshkumar, on Monday filed a divorce petition in a local court and accused her wife of torturing him – she allegedly beat him in front of his staff on February 22.  The Minister released photos showing bruises on his body due to the alleged thrashing.  The Minister also accused her of blacking mailing him (for what misdeeds of his, he didn't elaborate!)
 
**
 
GREAT health news!
 
Gossiping, studies have found, helps alleviate stress levels!!
 
**
 
Fact of the matter.
 
In Thai, Siamese cats are called wichen-maat, meaning 'moon diamond'.  A 14th century book of Thai poems describes 23 types of Siamese cats.  Giving a pair of Si Sawat cats (a type of Siamese cats) to a bride is supposed to bring good luck to the marriage.
 
**
 
It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with three-year-old Katelyn when she went into labor and called 911.  Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the call.  The house was very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.  After a while Connor was born.  The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom.  The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked her what she thought about what she had just witnessed. 
 
Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.  Spank him again."
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