Thursday 10 September 2015

[www.keralites.net] Some Jokes - Enjoy

 

Santa and Banta went for fishing. They caught a lot of fish and returned to the shore.

Santa: 'I hope you remember the spot where we caught all these fish.'

Banta: 'Yes I marked X on the side of the boat to mark the spot.'

Santa: 'You idiot! How do we know we will get the same boat tomorrow?'

******

Fed up of people making fun of him, Santa decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant. One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to the confessional unattended, he called Santa D'costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him. Santa told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a while and learn what to do.

Santa joined the priest and followed him into confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said, 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.'

Priest: 'What did you do?'

Woman: 'I committed adultery.'

Priest: 'How many times?'

Woman: 'Three times'

Priest: 'Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more.'

A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said, 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.'

Priest: 'What did you do?'

Man: 'I committed adultery.'

Priest: 'How many times?'

Man: 'Three times.'

Priest: 'Say two Hail Marys, put $5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more.'

Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and the priest could leave.

Santa D'costa was now alone. A few minutes later another woman entered and said, 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.'

Santa: 'What did you do?'

Woman: 'I committed adultery.'

Santa: 'How many times?'

Woman: 'Once.'

Santa: 'Go, do it two more times; we have a special offer this week, three times for $5.00.'

*********

Banta with two red ears went to a doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, 'I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.

''Oh, dear!' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. 'But what happened to your other ear?'

''The scoundrel called back.'

*******

Dr.Maheswar


www.keralites.net

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Posted by: prasannam n <iampresanam@yahoo.co.in>
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