Monday 22 April 2013

[www.keralites.net] Khatte-mitten khabharain from around the world for 22/4/13

 

Integrity has no need of rules
**
Tweet of the day…
"No Sir. 'Capital punishment' doesn't mean having to live in Delhi.
**
Cartoon quip: dHELLi
**

**
Weird world…
Held in dowry case, Bangalore man demands in-laws' arrests too.
In a first of its kind case, a Bangalore-based hardware engineer, who was jailed following a dowry harassment charge in 2010, has filed a police case against his wife and in-laws, seeking they be punished for the offence of paying dowry!
**
Get me a divorce, officer! 911 call lands woman in soup.
Girard: Police have cited a 42-year-old Pennsylvania woman for disorderly conduct after she called 911 requesting a divorce and assistance to make her husband leave. The woman called just after 1 mm on April 13. The cops booked her for disorderly conduct and misusing 911 system.
**
Ghost marriages.
"The market for ghost marriages is thriving in rural areas," the prosecutor told a court in Yan'an city, Shanxi province" and three four men took advantage of it. They dug up ten female corpses, cleaned the bodies, and dyed their hair, to make the women look younger. They then sold the bodies to families with recently deceased bachelors, so that the men could be buried alongside their "wives", and would not grow lonely in the afterlife. The four men – surnamed Pang, Bai, He and Zhang – had exploited the ritual of ghost marriages, which dates back to at least 1700 B.C. They sold the ten corpses on the black market for Pound sterling 25,000 (Rs.25 lakhs!).
The four men were each sentenced to two years in prison.
**
One woman to another: "My best friend stole my husband. That's how she became my best friend!"
**
Tongue in cheek…
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" – Hunter S. Thompson
**
"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar" – Mark Twain.
**
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound!
**
Matrimonial error..
Santa buys a new Tempo truck for his transport business in his wife's name. He then paints her name onboth side doors of the temp.. He arrives home. Rushes in excitedly for wife Jaswinder to bring some flowers and acoconut for its inauguration.
As the wife approaches the temp, she read the display on the side doors; turns around and slaps him hard on both cheeks. He had painted…
Jaswinder Kaur
For Hire
Full day Rs.300
Night charges extra.
**
What is the similarity between banking and having sex? In both cases, you lose interest, after withdrawal.
**
A middle aged man accosted a youngish fellow in a car on a highway and pointed his gun at him. The young fellow began taking out his wallet, cell phone etc but the highway thief wanted none of those. "Masturbate,' he ordered.
Though surprised, the young man obliged. After he finished the older man said:
'Masturbate again.'
"But…'
"Do as I say…'
With great difficulty he managed another orgasm and said: "I cannot do it again even if you kill me, so please don't ask.'
'Maria' the older man called out to his daughter. You are safe with this man. He will drop you to the city.'
**
Leaders most admired by CEOs globally.
Some 1,300 CEOs voted for leaders they admired most: survey by PricewaterhouseCoopers.
1) Winston Churchill.
2) Steve Jobs
3) Mahatma Gandhi
4) Nelson Mandela
5) Jack Welch
6) Abraham Lincoln
7) Margaret Thatcher
8) Ronald Reagan
9) John F. Kennedy
10) Napoleon Bonaparte
(Me: the surprise omission is that of Bill Clinton…)
**
A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of them. The man was astonished.
After a while, he was moving to cross a road. Once again, the voice shouted. "Stop! One more step and car will run over you." The man stopped short, and a car came careening around the corner.
The man asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm your guardian angel,! the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked, "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
**
Coincidences in life…
The other day when a Delhi-based fb pal, well versed in Tamil movies and songs, commenting on one my post said, probably referring to me, Idhu namma aalu (This is our man). I thought it was a casual comment and left it at that.
I rarely watch Tamil cinema (for that matter, any movie in any language), being out of touch with it for decades. However, I decided to watch one this evening, because the channel had been frequently announcing it's a comedy.
When I did sit to watch the movie, before long I found it wasn't to my taste, so I started surfing channels, and lo, stumbled on a channel that had started beaming the Idhu Namma Aalu produced and directed by Bhagyaraj whose films bristling with subtle humour and double-entendre I also love. The story revolves around an Iyer girl (played by a very young Shobhana) falling in love with a barber's son (Bhagyaraj). The movie is a laff riot, and one of the characters, the buddy of the hero, is my namesake …
Suddenly, it clicked why the Delhi pal mentioned the particular phrase in her response. Tubelight chamakne laga!
**

www.keralites.net

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
KERALITES - A moderated eGroup exclusively for Keralites...
To subscribe send a mail to Keralites-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Send your posts to Keralites@yahoogroups.com.
Send your suggestions to Keralites-owner@yahoogroups.com.

To unsubscribe send a mail to Keralites-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.

Homepage: www.keralites.net
MARKETPLACE


.

__,_._,___

No comments:

Post a Comment