Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
Twelve Important Tips for a Happy Marriage Life
1) Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often
2) Remember that Your Spouse is also someones Brother or Sister in Islam
Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember thatones spouse is also another brother or sister in Islamand that therights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship.Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: None of you are true believers until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. [Bukhari,2/12]3) Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations
4) Focus on the Best in Your Spouse
5) Be Your Mates Best Friend
Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouses likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon.A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.
6) Spend Quality Time Together
It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together.Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship.Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project.Both spouses should enjoy the particular option they chooseand distractions should be kept to a minimum.
The Prophet (pbuh) used to race with his wife, Aisha .Sometimes she won, and sometimes he won. Remember, he was in his fifties at the time!how many of us think we are to mature to do something enjoyable that can also,with a proper intention, count as an act of worship and ring in piles of good deeds?7) Express Feelings Often
This seems like a very Western concept and one that some people may struggle with, but it is important to be open and honest about ones feelings,both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open andany concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise.
8) Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change.
9) Never Bring Up Past Mistakes
10) Surprise Each Other at Times
The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively impact the marriage.
11) Cultivate a Sense of HumourJoke with your spouse.This particular aspect goes a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner helps make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic, andlooks forward to spending time with youbecause of it.
In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) himself joked with his wives, as well as with companions (though without lying).12) Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements
- Begin with the intention to resolve the issue.If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.
- Remember that it takes two to quarrel.If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.
- Both spouses should not be angry at the same time.If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.
- Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.
- Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.
- If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate.Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.
- Remember your house in Paradise!The Prophet (pbuh) said: I guarantee a house in the surroundings [suburbs] of Paradise for a man who avoids quarreling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good.[Abu Dawud,41/4782]
www.keralites.net          |
To subscribe send a mail to Keralites-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Send your posts to Keralites@yahoogroups.com.
Send your suggestions to Keralites-owner@yahoogroups.com.
To unsubscribe send a mail to Keralites-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Homepage: www.keralites.net
No comments:
Post a Comment