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P.S - Obviously, it all begins in China.
1. The mistress dispellers of China.
It is not every time that a divorce has to turn into a free-for-all slugfest with each party suing the other for all their money and dignity. It happens quite often now, but not always. Take China, for example. They do not believe in getting the government involved if two people don't want to live with each other. Since there is a huge social stigma around women getting divorced in China, not to forget the financial stress associated with a divorce, an ever increasing number of women are going to companies that specialise in driving their husbands' mistresses away. They are the 'Mistress Dispellers'. Businessmen and high ranking officials keeping a mistress is not uncommon in China at all. With the booming economy, the number of such businessmen is only increasing. To tackle this, women approach such mistress dispellers. The dispellers, for a handsome amount of money (upwards of $10,000), coach the wife in distress to be stronger, more attractive for the husband and teach them how to tackle certain situations, while also using a number of tactics to get rid of the mistress. Needless to say, these people are pretty good at it. DoubleUteeeeff man!
2. The smile ball
Well, Japan isn't far behind either. For thousands of years, people around the world were doing just fine with normal onions. Yes, they would make us teary-eyed but it's only momentary and doesn't cause a lot of problems. But one Japanese group has decided to take it upon themselves to fix this. House Foods Group in Japan has come up with the "Smile Ball" after apparently TWO DECADES of research. The Smile Ball is so innovative that it even won an IG Nobel Prize - a special award handed out to honour achievements for improbable research. Like the Razzies. The company doesn't plan to start producing these Smile Balls commercially anytime soon, though. If you don't know how you feel about this, know that the 5-6 tonnes of smile balls that were sold to the public as a trial run sold like hot cakes.
3. Mad man jumped out of a plane without parachutes... and survived!
It happened! 42-year-old Luke Aikins, who also very evidently has balls of steel, actually jumped out of a plane from 25,000 feet without a freakin' parachute! He got away with it thanks to a 20-storey-high, 100x100 ft safety net that he landed on. But seriously, dude, WTF!?!? I would call this a fantastic act of bravery but it only takes so much before an act of bravery becomes an act of crazy, and this one is veering towards that. It's great that he survived and hopefully, he won't try it again, but what about the millions of stupid people out there who get inspired only to literally fall to their deaths? Never underestimate the power of an idiot.
4. Man wins a $3 million lottery, lands up in jail for selling meth.
Ronnie Music Jr. was a poor man with a lot of ambitions. Which is why when he won a whopping $3 million lottery, he did what every smart, rich guy would do - he decided to invest. But you know what they say about luck, right? Don't push it. Out of the millions of legal things he could've done with his money, 45-year-old Music Jr. decided to use it to sell methamphetamine. So when a dealer was caught trying to sell 11 pounds of meth in Georgia, Music Jr's name came up as the supplier. When the cops raided his place, they found 11 pounds of meth worth upwards of $500,000, $600,000 in cash and a lot of ammunition. You know how we always imagine ourselves as Tony Montana from Scarface with all the guns, drugs and the money? There's a reason people don't actually end up doing it. This guy is it.
5. The Indian boy who's obsessed with milk - dog milk.
There's nothing wrong with loving milk. But what if it's dog milk? Of course, it's not illegal per say, but it's frowned upon. Like masturbation on a flight. 10-year-old Mohit Kumar is one such lad who just loves a healthy bitch's milk. Ever since he was four, Mohit has been enjoying sucking on a bitch's nipple. So much so that his parents have now become desperate to make him stop doing the things he does to stray bitches. Once you're done shaking your head, spare a few seconds reading about the origin of this superhero story. Mohit was once playing with a stray dog when he happened to suck on the nipple of a bitch. Loving the taste, Mohit did not stop. His mother Pinky confirmed that the bitches around the area have also taken a liking to him and feed him, whenever Mohit wants. Fearing he would go down sucking the first stray bitch in the colony Mohit is not allowed to leave the house without adult supervision, forget going to school. So he sucks on nipples because he doesn't go to school, and he doesn't go to school fearing he'll end up sucking a bitch. How ironic.
6. The man who wants to ruin the world with un-meltable ice-cream.
I don't know about you, but melting ice-cream creating an absolute mess is one of the best experiences in life. And this man is trying to take that away from us. To the joy of all those who love things prim and proper, 34-year-old Rob Collington (Gastronaut Ice Cream) has invented the Freeze-Dried Ice Cream - or ice cream that does not melt! Thankfully, the ice-cream itself doesn't taste great since it's got a lot of artificial ingredients. Take that, unmeltable ice-cream. You might look great and solid in the sun but you don't taste awesome, do ya? How about getting Mohit a little tasting session?
7. Russian bank offering insurance for Pokemon Go.
Pokemon Go itself is WTF enough. To make this worse than they already are, people are now offering insurance for it! Yes, a Russian bank, after realising that douchebags might actually end up hurting themselves catching Pokemon, came up with a plan offering Russians free Pokemon Go insurance, promising up to 50,000 rubles (Rs 50,000) in the case of any game- related accidents. Playing Pokemon Go is dumb, getting insurance for it is even dumber.
8. The human designed to survive a fatal car crash.
It's not human, let's just get this out of the way first. Graham is actually a prototype of a person who might be able to survive the most fatal of car crashes. His head is like a helmet. He does not have a neck. He has weird feet, among other unnatural features. While the whole point of the campaign was to make people aware of the dangers of car accidents and improve our road systems, wouldn't it have made more sense in spending the time and the money figuring out a way to make cars safer for humans instead?
9. South Korean army taking ballet lessons to relieve stress!
True, guarding national borders can get a bit stressful for soldiers. You can never tell when the enemy is going to attack. But sending soldiers dancing sounds a bit illogical, right? Not to the South Koreans, it isn't. Once every week, without fail, the South Korean army's 25th division drop their weapons to put on ballerinas! The authorities feel that this will relieve the stress of the soldiers and keep their mental health in check. Whether it actually ends up reducing stress levels, only time will tell, but they will surely end up mastering the art of doing a split.
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Posted by: "K.G. GOPALAKRISHNAN" <kgopalakrishnan52@yahoo.in>
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