Sex Tonight?
I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For example…One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, but then she said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out for a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, high-end department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. But, I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey, take that too!'
She appeared to be almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear; let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said 'Honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either…
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Posted by: Cool Kis <cooolkis@gmail.com>
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