Tuesday, 11 November 2014

[www.keralites.net] Humor from Great Minds

 

Humor from Great Minds

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two..."
Sir Norman Wisdom


"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
Edgar Watson Howe



"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!"
Doug Larson


"A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie!"
Eric Bolton


"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
Erno Philips



"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Phyllis Diller


"Laughter is the closest distance between two people. "
Victor Borge


"Start every day with a smile and get it over with."
W.C. Fields



"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Will Rogers


"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison."
Tim Allen


"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Woody Allen



"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Erica Jong


"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard


"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
Wendell Johnson

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