Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
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