The Perfect Son
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.The Most Stupid Man On Earth
One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"
The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!"
"No" replied the man. God will save me!
The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help."
No, God will save me!" he said
Eventually he died by drowning.
He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God "Why didn't you save me?"
God replied, "For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon."
The Italian says, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians."
The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire."
..and so on and so on ...and then the Greek says: "We invented sex."
The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women...
"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"
"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."
"Are you sure?" Al asked.
"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."
When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."
"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."
"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!"
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. www.keralites.net 
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