Tongue in cheek…
Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
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Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot!
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From the world of science…
If your blanket's not keeping you warm enough to put you to sleep, slipping on a pair of socks should work well.
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Including two portions of oats in your breakfast can help slash your bad cholesterol by five per cent in just six weeks.
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Bond with grandkids prevents depression.
Researchers found that grandparents and grandchildren have real, measurable effects on each other's psychological well-being long into grandchildren's adulthood.
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How important is it to maintain healthy nitric oxide levels?
By the time we reach our 70s and 80s, our bodies produce and use 75 percent less nitric oxide than we were in our 20s. We need it most when we're older. Nitric oxide boosts circulation, supports heat health, lowers blood pressure, increases brain power, reverses aging, raises bone density and improves sexual performance.
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Lost your keys? New tech can tell where they are…
London: Scientists have developed a new technology that can trace your lost items within seconds using a special search engine on your smartphone or computer. The system, developed by Ulm University in Germany, takes only a few seconds to tell the user exactly which drawer their wallet is in, or where they left their car keys. The gadget is called FindMyStuff.
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Woman ordering ordering things by phone: "I want pepperoni and mushrooms on my half, a set of dumbbells and a pair of running shoes on my husband's half"
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A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer. The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young, "Quickly children, let's put heads together!" After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, "Now – Let us spray!"
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Weird world…
Wanted: Bikini-clad cleaners to tidy man's home.
Melbourne: An Australian man has posted an advertisement for bikini-wearing cleaners, who could tidy up his house before his fiancé returns. The ad states that all the cleaning equipment will be supplied to the ladies, except the two-piece. The ad had 300 hits within 3 hours of being posted and the man got over 12 authentic inquiries.
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'Go hang', Mugabe tells his defeated foe:
Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe on Monday said those upset by his disputed landslide victory could 'go hang'.
(The sour grapes always cry 'foul')
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Judge forces baby's name change from Messiah
Thou shalt not be named Messiah! A US judge has forced a 7-month-old boy's name to be changed to mundane Martin from Messiah, saying the religious name was earned only by Jesus Christ.
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IAF officer says man posed in FB as Manisha to con him of Rs.2 lakhs.
(Me: It's a warning for all men to beware of 'female' FB friends demanding money under one pretext or the other)
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Norway PM turns cabbie to peep into people's mind.
Oslo: Norwegian PM Jens Stollenberg revealed on Monday that he has gone undercover as a taxi driver for an afternoon, in a bid to find out voters' real concerns.
(Me: In olden times in India several kings were known to go around town incognito for a firsthand view of what the praja (people) thought of their kings and their rule)
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Didn't misuse sick leave? Show me your FB page!
New Zealanders fod of pulling a sicky may need to be more careful about what they post on Facebook while they are off. Air New Zealand has forced a sacked flight attendant to let bosses examine her bank records and Facebook pages in a row over her claiming sick leave. Gina K. was sacked by the airline earlier this year after the company claimed she misused two days leave she took to care for her sister.
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Think it over..
"Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack" – Sun Tzu
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A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day, he calls again for his lawyer, and the receptionist gives the same reply. The third day, he calls again, "Excuse me, sir," the receptionist says, "This is third time I'm tell you your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
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