ISLAMIC MANNERS-22Expressing Condolences and Sympathy9.3 EXPRESSING CONDOLENCES AND SYMPATHY Your conversation with anguished persons should be aimed at mitigating their agony by mentioning the reward of patience, the transitory nature of life on earth, and that the Hereafter is everlasting life. In this respect, it is desirable to reiterate certain verses of the Quran, the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH) or some of the well-spoken condolences of our ancestors. You may mention the saying of Allah SWT: �But give glad tidings to those who patiently endure, who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah we belong and to Him we return. They are those on whom [descend] blessings from their Lord, and mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.'4 Or you may quote another verse from the Quran: �Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only those who are saved far from the fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object [of life], for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception.' And such are Allah's words: �All that is on earth will perish. But Allah will abide [for ever], the face of your Lord, most gracious, and most generous.' You may mention some of sayings of the Prophet (PBUH) reported by Muslim and others: �Oh Allah, reward my calamity and replace my loss with a better one.' And like the saying of Prophet (PBUH) reported by Bukhari and Muslim: �It is Allah's that takes and it is He that gives, and He prescribes a certain destiny for every matter.' Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported that when the Prophet (PBUH) mourned the death of his son Ibrahim he said: �My eyes are tearful. My heart is full of anguish, but we will say only what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim, your loss filled us with sorrow.' Also, it is very appropriate in this regard to use some of the traditional sayings of the Muslim forefathers. Omar bin Al-Khattab used to say: �Everyday we are told that so and so has just died. One day it will be said, �Omar has died.' � You may allude to the saying of the just Caliph Omar ibn Abdul Aziz (RA): �A person who is not separated from Adam by a living father, is indeed deep-rooted in death.' The honoured follower Al-Hasan Al-Basri said: �Oh son of Adam, you are nothing but mere days. Whenever a day passes away: a part of you passes away.' He also said: �Allah ordained that the ultimate resting place of believers will be paradise, no less.' His student Malik ibn Dinar said: �The wedding of the one who fears Allah, is the Day of Judgment.' A poet said: Passing the days we are content Another poet said: Offering condolences, we trust not living long Another poem describes how oblivious humans can be to death: Life is but a ship afloat I have quoted all these appropriate mourning quotations because I have witnessed many inappropriate conversations and talks by people offering sympathy. Mourning hearts are depressed with anguish and sorrow. Be sensitive and select a suitable topic for your conversation. Attempt to lift the spirits of the bereaved family. The great scholar, Mansour bin Zazan said, �Sorrow and sadness will increase rewards.' Al-Hassan Al-Basri pointed out that this painful state will gradually pass away, but our sins will remain with us forever. He said, �Every sad anguish will diminish, except anguish over sins.' The great scholar, Ata bin Abi Muslim pointed out that life is full of challenges and events. �A believer would not be happy for one complete day.' Engr.Sulthan |
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