ISLAMIC MANNERS-14 Social Manners with Parents 5.5 MANNERS WITH PARENTS
Observe complete respect and reverence to your father and mother, for they are the most worthy of your consideration. Al-Bukhari and Muslim reported that a man asked the Prophet (PBUH): Oh Messenger of Allah, who is the most worthy of my best conduct?' He answered: �Your mother! Your mother! Your mother! Then your father, then the next, and the next.' Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Abdul Razzaq in his Musanaf (the wording is his) reported that Hisham bin �Urwa recounted that his father told him that Abu Hurairah (RA) saw a man walking ahead of another. He asked him: �How is this man related to you?' �He is my Father,' the man answered. Abu Hurairah told him: �Do not walk ahead of him, do not sit until he sits, and do not call him by his name.' According to Ibn Wahab, a student of Imam Malik bin Anas named Imam �Abdul Rahman bin Al-Qasim Al-'Utaqi Al-Masri (132-191 AH), said: �While Imam Malik was reading Al-Muwata^ to me he suddenly stood up for a long while, then he sat again. He was asked why, and he answered: �My mother came down asking me something. Since she was standing I stood up respectfully, when she went, I sat back down.' The revered follower Tawoos bin Kisan said: �It is part of the Sunnah to respect four persons: a scholar, an elder, a leader, and a father. It is considered rude that a man call his father by his name.' At the end of his book of Malkite Fiqh Al-Kafi, Imam Bin �Abdul Al-Barr said: �Kindness to the parents is an obligatory, duty and by the grace of Allah it is an easy matter. Kindness means to be humble with them, to speak to them nicely, to look at them with love and respect, to speak in a mild tone that does not surpass theirs unless they are hard of hearing, to give them complete access to your own wealth, and to offer them the best of your food and drink. Children should not walk ahead of their parents, nor speak ahead of them in matters that they know are their father's. Children should wholeheartedly avoid upsetting their parents and should seek their pleasure as much as possible. Making your parent's life enjoyable is one of the most virtuous acts. Children must hasten to respond to their parents' call. If a child is praying voluntarily, he/she should shorten the prayer and respond promptly. Children should express only good words. In return, it is the parents' duty to make it easier for their children to be kind to them by being kind and generous to their children, but without Allah's help people cannot become obedient, nor can they perform his commands.' You may encounter various difficulties while serving your mother and father, but do not forget that their rights are multiples of these difficulties. For this Aallah said in the Qur'an �Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in the life, say not a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility, and say: �My Lord bestow mercy on them as they cherished me in childhood.� The Prophet (PBUH) said, �No child will compensate a parent unless he finds him or her a slave and he frees them.' Keep in mind that everyone likes to be the best in status, prestige and popularity, and hates to see someone better than himself or herself. Only your parents would wish that you become better than what they are. How should you treat those who prefer you to themselves and wish you better. 5.6 Tell Your Family your Whereabouts
If you leave home to go to a place other than your usual work, it is advisable to inform your family where you are going. This information is very useful to have their mind at ease knowing where you are. The great follower, Qatada bin Di'ama Al-Sadousi disapproved of someone going somewhere without telling their family their whereabouts. Imam Ahmad reported that Qatada narrated that he went with Abo Ma'shar to visit Al-Sha'bi. His family said he was not home. Qatada asked, �Where did he go?' His family said, �We do not know.' Qatada then said, �You mean he does not tell you where he goes?' They said, �Yes.' Telling your family where you are lessens their worries besides putting you and them at ease if you were late since they know where you are. 5.7 RESPECT THE POOR
If you come across a poor person at a gathering or you were visited by a poor person at home or at work, do not look down upon him or her because you consider them poor. Poverty is not a defect or a fault to be ashamed of, while lack of kindness and generosity is. Treat poor companions or guests with honour and respect. Be pleasant while talking to them, using the best of language. Again, poverty is not a vice. Many of the poor are more honourable than the wealthy, and many who are penniless are preferred to the rich. from the book ISLAMIC MANNERS
By Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah (RA)
Engr.Sulthan | 
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