Thoughts and Quips
'For Those Who Take Life 'Toooo' Seriously!'
*I'm happily married . . . but the wife isn't.
*Rumors goes in one ear and out of . . . many mouths.
*What happens if . . . you get scared half to death twice.
*Always try to be modest . . . and be proud of it.
*Change is inevitable . . . except from vending machines.
*And on the other hand . . . you have different fingers.
*You don't suffer from stress . . . Your the carrier.
*Support bacteria . . . They're the only culture some people have.!
*Inside every older person is a younger person . . . wondering what the hell happened.
*If everything seems to be going well . . . you have obviously overlooked something.
*I don't have an attitude problem . . . You have a perception problem.
*Everyone has a photographic memory. . . Some just don't have the right film.
*When everything is coming your way . . . you're in the wrong lane.
*A day without sunshine is like . . . night (or Sheffield).
*A clear conscience . . . is the sign of a bad memory.
*The early bird gets the worm . . . but the second mouse gets the cheese.
*He who laughs last . . . thinks slowest.
*99 percent of lawyers . . . give the rest a bad name.
* I just got lost in thought . . . It was unfamiliar territory.
* Life is like a box of chocolates . . . All the best ones have been nibbled at.
*If you think experts are expensive . . . wait and see what amateurs cost you.
*Afraid of doing too much . . . then you'll always do too little.
*Frustration is when you have ulcers . . . but still aren't a success.
*If the hokie-pokie isn't really what it's all about . . . what then, huh ?
* I used to have a very open mind . . . but my brains kept falling out.
*Hell hath no fury like . . . the lawyer of a woman scorned.
*If you have something to say, raise your hand . . . and place it over your mouth
* Remember . . . Half the people you know are below average.
*If you can't be a good example . . . then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
*Behind every successful man is . . . a very surprised woman.
*All the world's a stage . . . I seemed to have missed the rehearsal.
*I read about the evils of drinking . . . so I gave up reading.
*A fool and his money are soon . . . partying.
*Take care of your thoughts . . . they may become words.
*A perfect wife is one who helps the husband . . . with the dishes.
*Money can't buy happiness . . . it can certainly rent it for a while.
*Two wrongs don't make a right, but ... Three rights do make . . . a left.
*A conclusion is the place where you find yourelf . . . when tired of thinking.
*Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence . . . a second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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Posted by: "Peter Hilder" <philder@southernphone.com.au>
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