Wednesday 7 January 2015

[www.keralites.net] Jokes only about/on incredible Bangaluru aka: Bangalore

 

1. If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore,
chances are, it will hit a dog or a software
engineer. While the dog may or may not have a
strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the
software engineer will definitely have one.


2. In India we drive on the left of the road. In
Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road


3. From uncyclopedia:
Bangalore:
Official language(s)C++, java, perl, python


4. Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic
accidents in Bangalore?
A: Follow the traffic rules.


5. "A guy is house hunting in Bangalore. Meets
old lady who is potential landlord. The
conversation goes thus:
Old lady: Where do you work, son?
Guy (with an air of pompousness): I work in
Infosys.
Old lady: Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent
only to good IT people.
It would appear that Infosys operates more
buses than BMTC in Bangalore."


6. Bangalore, where PG(Paying Guest) is the
first business and IT, the second.


7. When someone says it is raining in
Bangalore, be sure to ask them which area,
which Main and which Cross.


8. if Bangalorean stops at a traffic light, others
behind him stop too because The others
conclude that he has spotted a policeman that
they themselves have not.


9. Bangalore is the only city where distance is
measured in units of time.


10. Auto rickhsaw driver, grocery seller and
common shop keeper thinks that you earn at
least 1 lakh per month if you are in IT sector.


11. Out of every 100 software engineers in
Bangalore, 90 are utterly frustrated and rest
have a girlfriend.


12. Bus drivers use horn instead of the brakes.
13. I quote : "Bangalore: The City where more
people know Language C than Hindi".


14. Since it's easier to find an alcohol shop
than a medicine shop in Bengaluru, the doctors
have now started prescribing "dawa-daaru" for
treatment.


15.Universal answer in Bangalore is "Gothilla"
- even if a bus conductor scolds in kannada
"whether you're a girl or a boy when you enter
from front door?"


16. The Bangalore airport lies in Andhra Pradesh.
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