My funny philosophical quotes for the New Year
*The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
* Some people always enjoy to talk and sleep on past memory.
*The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
*Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. You too are entitled to your opinion. So let's learn the art of agreeing to disagree and smile folks.
*There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. And there are people who question and argue just to hear their voices. Never ever argue or discuss with them anything if you value your honor in society. If you are convinced of their stupidity, do expose them.
*The road to success is always under construction.
*When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep --not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
*Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
*Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
*Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils – (Louis H Berlioz )
*When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep --not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
*Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
*Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
*Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils – (Louis H Berlioz )
*A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
*Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
*Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
*I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
*I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. (A. Whitney Brown )
*Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
*Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
*I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
*I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. (A. Whitney Brown )
*How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits He's lost?
*If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
*The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like aslong as it is not poison, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
*In God we trust says the US dollar; all others must pay cash.
*The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
*Everyone believes in something. I believe I'll have another beer for New Year.
*Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. – (Mrs. White, Clue 1985)
*Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. – (Jerry Garcia)
*Politics is the art of differing with any opinion suggested by the opposing party even if it benefits the nation. (T.C's opinion)
*Everyone believes in something. I believe I'll have another beer for New Year.
*Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. – (Mrs. White, Clue 1985)
*Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. – (Jerry Garcia)
*Politics is the art of differing with any opinion suggested by the opposing party even if it benefits the nation. (T.C's opinion)
*If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. – (Homer Simpson)
*Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
*Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – ( Maryon Pearson)
*There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy for you. Her heart. Have you tried it?
*Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
*Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – ( Maryon Pearson)
*There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy for you. Her heart. Have you tried it?
*Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. (Lily Tomlin)
*"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." You only reap the benefits after your death, which goes to some undeserving legal heirs. – (Al Bundy)
*You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.- (Homer Simpson)
*The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.- (Robert Bloch). That's the style of political leadership today.
*I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. – (George Bush)
*Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
*There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
*My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. – (Socrates)
*There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.
*Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest ( to either men or women).
*"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." You only reap the benefits after your death, which goes to some undeserving legal heirs. – (Al Bundy)
*You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.- (Homer Simpson)
*The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.- (Robert Bloch). That's the style of political leadership today.
*I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. – (George Bush)
*Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
*There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
*My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. – (Socrates)
*There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.
*Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest ( to either men or women).
*Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
*Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! The standard quote of most people pronounced guilty by court.
*Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
*Whatever it is -- I didn't do it! The standard quote of most people pronounced guilty by court.
*Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
*Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Can't they be just themselves and be a little attentive to some of their silent men friends than the sweet talking men.
*If you must argue, remember that it is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. (William Gibbs McAdoo)
* Christmas and New year is the time when you buy presents and unwanted gifts with the money from next year.
* There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in America it caught 100, in France 1000, and in India, somebody stole the robot.
* If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! That's called gossiping (specially journalists) which more than 90 percent of our human world are doing.
* Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. (Albert King )
* I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy or for that person to annoy you for the rest of your life.
* The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. So write to me once in a while, will you!!!
* The most dangerous people are the nosey parkers. They want to know everything about you and are so very deceptive about themselves and their motives.
* Ultimately, remember that you come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
* What is most un-understandable since the advent of the cellphone is that , most have learned the art of making a caller believe that he or she is very busy, and to hang up. But when they need you, they are at your doorsteps unannounced.
* Only if you have a morning quiet time and a night thanksgiving prayer with your Almighty God, would you have a better direction in life.
AND PLEASE REMEMBER THAT IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE ETHICAL THAN TO BE A PEER OF THE CROWD.
WISHING ALL A HEALTHIER LIFE, WISER BRAWN AND BRAIN.
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