At one of the big shopping centers of town this lady was speaking quite loudly, probably trying to impress others in surroundings, .
"Show me the latest shoes you have"
"Here are a couple of latest shoes ma'am" The sales person said while pointing his hand towards the shelf.
"No, i didnt ask for these shoes, I want some latest designs which are hot now a days"
"Maam, the one i showed you are the latest and most sold shoes in the market... Please look in this shelf, here are some other latest shoes"
"No, No i want the latest new designs which everyone is buying in UK"
"But maam, this is not UK and all big stores here follow local trends"
"ok leave it, show me some ladies bags"
"Here are some nice bags maam" the sales person showed a couple of bags"
"No, no, i didnt ask you to show me this kind of bags, I need some big bags"
"How about these bags maam" "No no, i didnt ask you to show me this much big bags, Ok leave it, show me some good shirts"
"What type of shirts ma'am"
" show me some latest shirts of UK Fashion..."
I was listening to this conversation while shopping for my kids yesterday. This is what i observed:
1- The Lady was not focused about her shopping plan because she changed her demands three times within 45 seconds of time. She was demonstrating unstable behavior and bothering the sales person and other people in surroundings.
2- She was not specific in her demands. She was expecting the salesman to show her products of UK market though she was in Pakistan which she could have asked at the start of conversation and left the market without wasting everyone's time . Later she didnt elaborate her demands clearly on how big bag she was looking for which again resulted in time wastage for both.
3- The lady was reactive in her nature as she was saying No, No in every second sentence she spoke which was an unethical way of conversation.
This is just one example from our routine life though we experience repeated cases of miscommunication which sometimes lead to brawl if both parties are not patient. The message here is that we must learn the art of effective communication if we want us to be heared and responded properly. The sales person in this example was on job so he was behaving nicely. Had this been the case of two colleagues or any other non-job conversation; the situation might have been tough.
Below is an extract from my article Effective Communication. Original Article can be read by clicking here
You might have experienced misunderstanding in family or official life on several occasions. The reason is obvious that either of the person didn't state his/her stance in clear fashion or perceive it clearly. So where does the fault lie and how can we improve? Let us study the below recommendations which need to be considered by Communicator or Listener in order to have solid common understanding and avoid communication gaps.
1. Improve vocabulary: Every word has its own deep meanings. For example there is a difference between 'Hate' and 'Dislike'. Likewise, there is a difference between 'Should' and 'Must'. To enhance vocabulary you should learn new words and understand the meanings of synonyms and antonyms as well. You can use online dictionaries or built-in features of MS Word (right click on a word to know synonyms/antonyms.
2. Listen carefully and listen more. If you listen more you are absorbing more and improving your level of comprehension. If you speak more you are on the verge of confusing others. So listen more and speak less. And when you speak, speak slowly and softly. Ask if you have communicated clearly or more elaboration is required.
3. If you don't understand something, ask for elaboration. It is said that "If you doubt at first, doubt again and clear it"
4. Put yourself in others' shoes to understand their perspective. Think win-win. Analyze the situation from everyone's perspective. Consider all the stake holders and consider their emotions. Develop Emotional Intelligence skill. Google it today.
5. If you are writing Emails/Letters/Fax then re-read after you are done with typing. Considering point-4 while you review your article. You can ask someone to comment on what you have written.
6. Avoid hard words to avoid bad taste: For example instead of saying 'Rejected' use the word 'Not Approved'. When you say No, you should sound as if you wanted to say Yes but due to specific issue you can't say yes. So if that issue is addressed, you will be saying Yes and Saying Approved.
7. Avoid too many arguments. Convince or get convinced. If things gets complicated, take a break… engage some well-wishers to assist resolve the matter"
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