Friday 28 February 2014

[www.keralites.net] Have a nice time........... Just for today's laugh

 

Have a nice time..... Just for today's laugh

Husband: "Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..! 

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?" 

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language! 

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Angry wife to her husband0n Phone: "Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop, Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:) 
Wife, With A Smile Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love! 
Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That Shop 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Special Package for Business Men. 
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.  
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free. 
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?" 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't demand new clothes gold jewels.
Do this for 1 yr he will be ok.  
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ? 
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
New SIM to surprise her husband
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.  
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number: 
"Hello Darling" 
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone: 
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 

Cool message by a wife Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours he needs a lot of improvement" 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
Sweet demand by kid
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked - what happen son? 
Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own. 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Lion bounced on wife In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife. 
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him! 
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera.. 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
Throwing knives on wife's picture 
Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture. 
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?" 
His honest reply, "MISSING U" 
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
I will think about it  
When a married man says "I'll think about it", 
What he really means that, 
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. 
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Habit of talking in sleep
 
 A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what should I give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake 
. . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
Dinner Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices? 
Wife: Yes and no.
. . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
What is the Difference between Mother Wife? 
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... 
the other ensures U Continue to do so. 
. . . . . .. . . .. . . . 
To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire 
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" 
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."  
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. 
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?" 
Millionaire: "A Billionaire" 
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
I look at your picture and the problem disappears 
 
 Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. 
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?  
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one? 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Honey what r u looking 4?
 
Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
Husband: nothing 
Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour? 
Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do you know the meaning of WIFE? Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means... 
Without Information, Fighting Everytime! 
WIFE says: No darling, it means:
With Idiot For Ever 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Too late for garbage Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage? 
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt. 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Why women starts with "W" because all questions start with "W".. ! 
Who ? 
Why ?
What ? 
When ?
Which ? 
Whom ?
Where ? 

Finally Wife..!!! 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Difference between Friend Wife 
U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend" 
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Dream of receiving jewellery cloths 
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! 
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Message of the year 
Women live a better, longer peaceful life..!!  Why? Very simple... 
A woman does not have a wife..!!! 
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Your husband needs rest 
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him? 
Doctor: They are for you.!!

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