Line Maro (pick-up line...)
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
(Me: Fat chance!)
**
Mindchow…
A quiet mind cureth all
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Tongue in cheek…
Give me ambiguity or give me something else!
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"A man's only as old as the woman he feels" – Groucho Marx
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From world of science…
Eating foods rich I protein for breakfast can reduce unhealthy snacking mid-day...
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A recent study shows, people who sleep 6.5 to 7.5 hours daily, live the longest.
(Me: Is it worth living that long...)
**
News of the day…
Sachin turned 40 yesterday.
(Me: May he live looooooooong happily. Can't help comment that cricket isn't a sport: that a 40+ guy can play at the very top proves it.)
**
Highly qualified engineers prefer working with BMC (the Mumbai city's civic administration) to large private companies.
(Me: It amply demonstrates that government employees including teachers are highly paid with hardly any need to show performance, besides one can earn handsomely via dubious means. A friend recently commented that education system in the country is in shambles because the teachers are poorly paid. This is far from the case – when they can earn well without sweating their brow, why should they even put on even a semblance of show of putting any effort? The State CM also hinted wryly the other day, while the second-rate teachers go on strike at the drop of a hat, highly qualified PhDs don't get jobs as teachers)
**
Man to wife: "I'm glad we had that big fight on our anniversary. It was cheaper than celebrating!"
**
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
**
Weird world…
Jewish rabbi launches book on sex for newly-weds.
An author in Israel has launched a book on physical intimacy to educate young Jewish couples who have little bedroom experience with the opposite sex. Dr. David R. thinks that the country's ultra-orthodox Jewish community need a little help when it comes to newlyweds beginning their married life together, since sex is a taboo subject among the community. The book explains all positions that couples might wish to try…
**
Granddad sells baby on Facebook for Rs.8 lakhs, held...
A Ludhiana-based man has been arrested for allegedly selling his new-born grandchild to a Delhi businessman for Rs.8 lakhs after lying to his daughter that the child was stillborn. Police said Feroz had struck the deal on Facebook with the help of a friend, an attendant and a nurse of a local hospital where the child was born on April 9.
**
Think it over…
My goal is to see that mental illness is treated like cancer" – Jane Pauley
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"The old order changeth, yielding place to new" – Alfred Tennyson.
(Me: Although the old guards in our country may cling to the view, old is gold… it only rhymes well).
**
A man needed a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend much on it. At the shop, he told the clerk:"I want the cheapest one."
The clerk showed a Rs.100 model. "Put this piece of plastic in your ear and run this string down into your pocket." He instructed.
"How does it work?" the customer asked.
"For Rs.100, it doesn't work." The sales replied. "But seeing it on you people will talk louder."
**
Bachi Karkaria in ToI today, 25/4/13
A 'Z' for Mr. A
(Me: on the news that Mukesh Ambani is being provided with the top "Z"-rated security.
**
As the TOI told Gayle, it takes balls to reach 175
(Me: The ToI turns 175 years this year, while Gayle hit a 66-ball 175 runs in the ongoing T20 cricket IPL series…)
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Read it and keep laffing as u hit the sack.. or try to unravel it thro the day…
Arre mere pyare yaarons aur yaarinis..
This is a prem patra (love letter) penned by a Kamalesh, an assal Bihari in his shud bihari angrezi.
Brevity is the soul of witty – a humour that makes you think and unravel it is the finest. This one belongs to that category. Proves, hum Bharatvasis kissise kum nahin in composing laff-riot jokes…
Let me see how many of my Hindi-knowing friends get it right. If you are able to unravel it fully, post it in my chatbox, dears.
Kamlesh ka luv lettr…
Hamri Deer roopa,
U r que tea,
Lub lee,
Sack sea,
On nest,
A track thief,
Soup pub
N u r my most
Press yes lover.
Toha r
Come less!!!
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