Deft definition…
Killer litter : Garbage tossed from a high-rise building (as in metro cities like Mumbai!)..
**
"God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them" – Franz Kafka
(Me: Yep, some nuts are hard to crack!).
**
A preacher dies, and when he gets to Heaven, he sees a New York cab driver who has more crowns. He says to an angle, "I don't get it. I devoted my whole life to my congregation."
The angel says, "We reward results. Did your congregation always pay attention when you gave a sermon?"
The preacher says, "Once in a while someone fell asleep."
The angel says, "Right. And when people rode in this guy's taxi, they not only stayed awake, but they usually prayed!"
**
"Some actions are even baser than the people who commit them" – Machado De Assisi
**
Tongue in cheek…
The more people I meet, the more I love my dog!
(Me: Now you know ppl in the west love their pets more...)
**
Line Maro
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
(Me: So be it..)
**
Weird world..
US woman drives car into a swimming pool…
A California woman escaped without major injuries after crashing her SUV into an apartment complex swimming pool. Police say 69-year-old Pamela Gwyn was in her Chevy Blazer on a city street on Wednesday when for an unknown reason she failed to make a right turn and lost control of the vehicle.
**
US computer programmer outsources his job to China!
A US company's STAR computer programmer reportedly outsourced his job to China so he could spend all day surfing the web. Bob, in his 40s watched cat videos on YouTube and browsed while paying a company based in Shenyang, China, just a fifth of his six-figure salary to do his job.
(Me: It HAD to come to this some day!)
**
Weird world…
Chimp addicted to porn in Spanish zoo..
A chimp at a Spanish zoo with her own TV and remote control has become addicted to watching smut. Gina has a TV installed in her enclosure at Seville Zoo, and she regularly chooses to watch X-rated footage by selecting erotic action using her own remote control. While zoo chiefs were "surprised" to see Gina had learnt to use the gadget "perfectly well", they were more shocked to see she had developed a penchant for human porn.
(Me: hmmm. Like human beings, like chimps? – after all, there are our ancestors…)
**
Health tips
Can sugar help heal a wound?
Eating sugar will not help heal a wound, of course. But sprinkling it on the wound will. Sugar is hygroscopic, which means that it soaks up moisture in the wound. Bacterial growth is suppressed without moisture, thereby assisting in healing the wound.
**
An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples."
"I won't be surprised, either," said the farmer, "This is an orange tree".
**
A believable fib?
Man to wife: "A virus escaped from my work computer and ate that green creepy stuff that was growing in the break room fridge"
**
Realtor to couple: "We just listed a lovely home on the other side of town, but it's zoned for snobs only."
(Me: Yep, snobs are prepared to pay a bomb for what they consider, exclusivity!)
**
Ruby: Hi Bob, where have you been?
Bob: The cemetery
Ruby: Oh! Who's dead?
Bob: They all are.
cris iyer
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