Email OF The Day: 07/19/18

Thursday, 19 July 2018

[www.keralites.net] WHY IT IS TOUGH BEING A DAUGHTER IN LAW IN INDIA

Why it's tough being a Daughter-in-law in India?
I have been wanting to write this one since some time.
I would really be pleased if even one person changed after reading this.
I remember one incident. Way back during my Post-Graduation days, I was treating a young lady who was facing major depression because of in-laws related harassment. While discussing my progress, a senior of mine said - "Spend some extra-time on this case, You are going to come across hundreds if not thousands of them in your life.."
If you ask me Today, even I would give the same advice to any young counselor/psychiatrist.
Irrespective of your religion, caste or creed.. Here are
5 OUTRAGEOUSLY IDIOTIC THOUGHT PROCESS, which lead to "psychological, physical and financial abuse" of a Daughter-in-law in India -
1. "Outsider Tag" - The main reason for evil, is the lack of acceptance of a daughter-in-law as part of the family. Every day I meet and counsel families who "keep a daughter-in-law" out of a discussion.
I have heard thousands of stories of how the husband and his parents, talk secretly in a room while the daughter-in-law is made to watch TV, because she is an "outsider"...
The really ironic part is that, when I asked some of such people what they thought about "untouchability", they had these really "amazing answers".. But they failed to realize the same behaviour in their own home!
2. Insecure Parents - One of the most common lines I come across in counseling parents - "that woman took away our son".
It's time to accept it, most Indian parents are selfish. So let's keep the "selfless love tag aside".
They "invest" time, money and love on a son.. So he can repay by taking care of them in their old-age. The finer print to this is - They expect him to behave like an obedient 5yr old kid till they die!!
They just get insecure when he starts to take his own decisions. Decisions that will revolve around his "selfishness" for his own family.
Have you heard the saying - what you throw into the universe, comes back to you magnified!!
3. No guidance through Adjustment phase - Have you ever heard about Adjustment phase or Adjustment disorder?
In most probability you don't even have the faintest Idea what it is. Adjustment phase is the time it takes the mind to adjust into a new environment. Adjustment disorder is very high levels of sadness, fear, depression and anxiety that one suffers, if the adjustment phase fails. In great majority of cases this disorder requires medicines for cure.
The adjustment phase for daughter-in-law in Indian setup, would be anywhere between 1 - 2years.
How much time is given to her for adjusting? - So-called PROGRESSIVE households say - 1or maximum 2 month is more than enough.
During this time, no one guides her. She has to learn on her own.
Now as you can logically deduce, the failure of adjustment phase leads the brain of many ladies into clinical levels of depression and anxiety.- this is manifested as fear, sadness, anger, irritation!!
TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY - how do Indian household take care of this depression/anxiety.. Another IDIOTIC thought is seeped in - Have a child!! Everything will be fine!! - No doubt we have reached 1.2 billion..and mental health illness is growing exponentially every year!!
4. Everyone loves the Dark Side - It doesn't matter how rich or powerful you are. It takes a lot of inner strength to stand against the Regressive thought process of society. I have seen mother in-laws who treat their daughter-in-laws like "slaves". They decide on her daily routine, feel pride in giving her "holidays" and hand over a list of things she "demands" her parents to provide.
All this Stupidity is done in the name of "SOCIAL RULES".
Hardly a marginal percentage of people stand against this.. why?
Because it's so easy to like the negative.
Remember in childhood you were taught - Bad habits come easily and are very difficult to go.!
Its so natural to like the dark side.. and as a big Joke... Everyone prays to GOD for more of it!!!
5. Husband is still a boy not a man - Most men take a lot of time to mature. Maturity isn't related to physical age, but your mental outlook. Most men behave as small boys, who are happy outsourcing their responsibilities to their parents.
A great number of men find marriage a legal way to have sex, someone to talk to and roam around with.
Most don't have the maturity to understand the emotional and social responsibility they have towards their wife.
Most are not ready to accept the changes that life demands once they get married. Most men cannot stand up to their mother or father and fight for their wife. But they have on great trait, they create amazing "excuses" to run away from this responsibility.
There are 5 additional issues, which affect a daughter-in-law. I will not write about them today, but sometime soon. These are -
1. Difference in rules for Own Daughter vs those for Daughter-in-law.
2. Passive aggression - when In-laws slowly their own son/daughter relationship through gossiping, unnecessary intervention and rigid rules.
3. Turbulent past of Mother-in-law and how it changes her present brain-behaviour pattern. Due to her own turbulent past.
4. Parents of the "daughter-in-law". - love vs. social laws.
5. having a girl child doesn't mean you are blessed or cursed.. It's change in your attitude that matters, else be prepared for a repeat!
If you like this article, do share it... lets together bring some change in the society!
written by -
Dr.Hemant Mittal (Social Influencer and Motivational writer)

Whatsapp Group+91 98450 81888

HOME REMEDY IN INDIA

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[www.keralites.net] 12 Home Remedies for Toothache

12 Home Remedies for a Toothache
There is nothing quite as painful and frustrating as a toothache. The good news is that you can treat the toothache with a dozen natural home remedies to help alleviate the pain. There's also a very good chance that you have most of the items on the list inside your fridge, or kitchen cabinet drawers.
A toothache is the result of an irritated or inflamed pulp, which is situated within the central region of the tooth. The sensitive nerve endings inside the pulp can get triggered by foods or beverages that are either too cold or too hot. It's important to first get a better understanding of the most common causes and symptoms before you begin the home remedies.
NOTE: None of these are a replacement for an actual dentist. These remedies will help you pass the time until your dentist appointment or alleviate some of the pain after, but do not skip the dentist visit. Teeth problems are serious health problems and should be treated as such.
source
Causes of Tooth Pain:
Abscessed tooth
Infected gums (gingivitis)
Tooth decay
Damaged fillings
Dental injuries, such as a chipped or fractured tooth
Sinus infection
Wisdom teeth
Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome (TMJ)
Symptoms of Tooth Pain:
Swelling around the tooth
Fever
Headache
Foul-tasting drainage from the infected tooth
Sharp pain when pressure is applied to tooth
Sensitivity to hot or cold foods
12 Natural Home Remedies for a Toothache:
1) Cloves - When it comes to natural home remedies for tooth infections, there is nothing that ranks higher than cloves! Cloves contain extremely powerful antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and anesthetic properties that help alleviate tooth pain. The anesthetic properties also help to fight off the infection.
The Remedy:
Take a pair of cloves and grind them with a little mix of olive oil or vegetable oil.
Apply the clove solution onto the affected tooth.
Dab clove oil solution onto a cotton ball, and rub directly on the affected tooth.
You can also mix a few drops of clove oil in half a glass of water, and use it as a mouthwash after the dabbing process.
2) Warm Salt Water - All it takes is a glass of warm water mixed with a bit of salt, and you can reduce the pain of a toothache. This homemade mouthwash solution will assist in fighting bacteria that causes tooth decay and infection.
The Remedy:
Mix half a spoon of common salt in a glass of very warm water.
Gargle thoroughly with the warm salt water solution.
Repeat a few times, or until you feel better.
3) Ice Cube - Head over to the freezer and pull out a couple of ice cubes. The ice cube helps numb the infected nerves that cause the horrible pain. Dentists use ice to test for sensitivity on teeth as well.
The Remedy:
Place an ice cube inside a Ziploc bag and wrap it in a thin cotton cloth.
Hold the bag over your cheek near the aching tooth for a couple of minutes.
The ice will then indicate the exposed nerves. Take a bit of caution when applying the ice.
4) Salt and Pepper - The next remedy can be found on your kitchen table. Salt and pepper provide a wonderful relief when combined together. The natural antibiotics inside the mouthwash can help ease the uncomfortable pain within the pulp region.
The Remedy:
Mix equal amounts of regular table salt and pepper with a few drops of water. This will form a natural kind of paste.
Apply the paste directly on the tooth, and allow the paste to take effect for a couple of minutes.
Repeat process for a few days, or until tooth feels better.
5) Garlic - It's no secret that garlic is the "cure-all" when it comes to home remedies. Garlic is not only ideal for treating a common cold, but also for treating toothaches. Garlic contains a bunch of antibiotic properties that can help get rid of tooth pain.
The Remedy:
Mix a clove of crushed garlic or use some garlic powder together with a sprinkle of table salt, and apply to the painful tooth.
You can even chew on a few cloves of garlic for some quick relief.
Continue the garlic remedy for several days, or until pain stops.
6) Asafetida - The powdered gum resin inside the Asafetida can help reduce pain during a toothache, and for bleeding gums. The odor of the Asafetida might not be too pleasant, but the natural pain remedy is worth the bad smell!
The Remedy:
Add a pinch of powdered Asafetida with lemon juice.
Warm up the solution, and use a cotton pad to apply the mixture on the affected area.
Asafetida can also be fried in clarified butter, and placed inside the tooth cavity for instant relief.
7) Baking Soda - Baking soda helps whiten your teeth and acts as a natural painkiller for toothaches, when mixed together with a bit of water. Baking soda promotes quicker healing of painful or swollen gum tissues, which is the reason why many toothpastes feature the sodium bicarbonate on the labels.
The Remedy:
Take a cotton swab and moisten it with a bit of water.
Dip the wet cotton swab in baking soda. Coat the swab really well so that it absorbs the baking soda before applying to infected tooth.
A mouth rinse can be made by mixing a large spoonful of baking soda into a small glass of warm water. Let the baking soda dissolve before swishing the rinse in your mouth.
8) Lime or Lime Juice - The citric acid of the lime juice helps kill the germs that cause tooth infection. Lime juice also contains vitamin C, which keeps your teeth protected against decay. Mixing lime juice and baking soda can also help whiten teeth.
The Remedy:
Lime Juice
Combine the lime juice together with Asafetida to form a paste.
Apply the lime paste on the infected tooth.
Keep your mouth slightly open to allow the paste to dry on the tooth.
Apply the paste 2-3 times a day to reduce the pain.
Limes
Cut a lime wedge or slice, and bite directly into it. Try to extract some of the juice.
Allow the lime to sit outside for a bit if you're feeling any sensitivity to cold.
Repeat process as needed, or until pain goes away.
9) Vanilla Extract - Vanilla extract contains Eugenol, which has antiseptic and analgesic properties that are used to fight off tooth decay. The Eugenol helps get rid of that unwanted toothache, and provides a quick pain relief solution.
The Remedy:
Saturate a cotton swab or cotton ball with 3-4 drops of vanilla extract, and place on affected tooth.
Use your finger to rub the vanilla extract on the affected area.. Make sure you wash your hands thoroughly beforehand.
Repeat process until pain goes away.
10) Onion - Onions offer great pain relief to people suffering from tooth abscesses or sensitive gums. Onions are highly regarded by dentists for their natural and powerful antimicrobial properties. Onions have even been compared to taking 8 Advil capsules, or an entire bottle of Orajel!
The Remedy:
Slice a piece of fresh onion and hold it inside your mouth.
Gently bite the onion until the juices come out for a few minutes to alleviate pain.
You may also put a piece of onion on the painful tooth so that it absorbs the antiseptic and antimicrobial properties.
Continue process until pain reduces.
11) Bayberry - The root bark of the bayberry is used to help strengthen gums. The berries are ideal for treating aching wisdom teeth as well. The natural antibiotics of the bayberry should go to work very quickly on your aching tooth.
The Remedy:
Mix the bayberry bark together with vinegar to form a natural paste.
Apply the paste on the affected tooth as a pain relief.
Use the paste when needed, or several times per day.
12) Guava Leaves - Guava leaves are used to heal mouth sores and aching teeth. The juice of the guava leaves contains many antibacterial properties that thwart off tooth decay or gingivitis. You should feel the effects of the guava leaves shortly after applying to the sensitive areas.
The Remedy:
Chew on a couple of guava leaves until the juice begins to work on the affected tooth.
Place 4 to 5 guava leaves in water and let it boil.
Allow the solution to cool off a bit before adding a pinch of salt, and rinse your mouth thoroughly with it.
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