[www.keralites.net] Fwd: A Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

 

 
 

 

 

 A Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

 

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learned never to underestimate someones capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced agaand again. Here are the most common five:

 

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

 

 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partners companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

 

 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

 

 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

 

 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

 

 

 

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[www.keralites.net] Equipping the visually challenged with job skills is a lifetime mission for P.R. Pandi Tiruchi

 

Equipping the visually challenged with job skills is a lifetime mission for P.R. Pandi  Tiruchi :- Equipping the visually challenged with job skills is a lifetime mission for P.R. Pandi, former President of the Organisation for the Rehabilitation of the Blind in Tiruchi

When P.R. Pandi smiles, it reaches all the way up to his eyes. The former president of the Organisation for the Rehabilitation of the Blind in Tiruchi (ORBIT) has never considered his visual impairment as a burden he says, as he talks us through his 37-year career in the pioneering engineering workshop.

It's a story that inspires awe in the listener – of a man's determination to rise above his disability and distinguish himself in his chosen field.
 Born in Veeravalasai village in the Sivaganga district in 1955, Pandi lost his sight to viral fever when still a teenager. He credits his widowed mother (Pandi's father died when he was seven) for encouraging him to pursue higher education despite his visual impairment.

Pandi went on to earn a diploma in mechanical engineering from a Chennai polytechnic. After qualifying in social work, he served with the Swedish Mission Hospital in Tirupattur for four years, working with differently-abled people in the surrounding villages.


He gives the example of his own daughter, Vimala Maheshwari, who was diagnosed with low-vision when she was in Standard III. With timely intervention, she was able to stay in mainstream education and consistently do well in exams. Today the double major graduate (economics and computer science) is working for at the Head Post Office as a postal assistant.

"Neither I nor my wife Shanmugavalli (who works as a nursing assistant in Tiruchi's Joseph Eye Hospital and has normal vision), have ever treated our daughter as a disadvantaged person." The couple also has a son P.Sivakumar, who works as a vocational instructor at the Spastics Society of Tiruchi.

Pandi feels organisations should go beyond merely equipping the differently-abled with vocational skills.

"We need to guide them on how to convert their newly earned skills into ways of earning a livelihood," he suggests.
Read the full article in the link below only partial article posted here.
http://www.thehindu.com/features/education/careers/the-vision-to-succeed/article5100706.ece

 

Ravi

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[www.keralites.net] Garden, Grass and Garbage

 

By Junaid Tahir

 

There is a garden near the place I live. My kids enjoy playing there. The garden service team trims the grass every 3-4 weeks. When the grass is trimmed it looks so lively, lovely and fresh. Kids enjoy and spend more time in the garden. After 2 weeks or so, the grass starts getting taller and turning yellow. This makes the garden unattractive. Also I noticed that the day grass is trimmed and someone throws a cigarette box or any other garbage it looks extremely bad however when the grass is taller and someone throws something, it's hardly visible.

 

If I consider the grass as human brain and the grass as negative thoughts and cigarette box as stress then I learn a very good moral from this analogy. Let me explain this: When I don't have any negative thoughts and stress I have a beautiful, powerful and fresh mind offering great services to the society, family and all humanity. However if I have negative thoughts (and in turn negative behavior) I start becoming the point of concern for the society, family, friends and colleagues. And when I have too many negative thoughts, I start nourishing roots of stress even if I don't know about it, just like the cigarette box not visible when grass is tall. Hence it is recommended to 'trim the grass' quite often. In my analogy, trimming the grass means to throw away unnecessary thoughts  and clean the mind from such garbage. When I have a clean mind (like trimmed grass), I can easily identify the roots of stress (cigarette box in trimmed grass) and easily handle the situation with my analytical skills eventually making my life more beautiful.  

 

Junaid Tahir 
 

 

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