Admissions are open now. Preference to those with criminal background. Politician's relatives get free scholarship !!!
..
National Corruption Institute Of India
( N C I I )
Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament
Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption. (BDC)
Earn your BDC from the World's Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies
OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:
Financial Theory and Practice
- Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
- FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
- Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
- Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like 'Chai Pani', 'Parcel', 'Change', 'Gift Box' , 'Color TV', 'Foreign Trip' and the ever popular 'Children's School Fees'
- Real estate Business
- Learn how to multiply money with no capital
- fast track buying and selling of Govt/ pvt properties (il) legally.
- # Lessons are taken by Prof Robert Vadra.
Public Relations (PR) and Media Management
- Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
- # Lessons by Salman Khurshid
- Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
- Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY. Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.
- Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.
- # By Rahul Gandhi
- Learn the art of proving all allegations as "BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED"
- Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.
Law and Order Module:
In this module you will learn how to:
- Commit MURDER and RAPE
- Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control
- Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.
- Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don't get arrested in the first place!
- FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this chapter by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!
Advanced Riotology
- Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.
- Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS.
- Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of 'DESI DARU' to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!
- Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.
- Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.
- Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.
Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of
World class Professors.
Special Courses In:
- "2G SPECTRUM – A Telecommunications Perspective" By Professor Andimuthu Raja
- ''Flat Taking From Army Jawan'' By Professor Ashok Chavan
- ''The Correct Standard of Clean'' By Professor Lalit Bhanot
- ''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal'' By Professor Suresh Kalmadi
- "Application of Corruption on Non Human Species – Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder" By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
- "Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money That Building The Taj Mahal Itself" By Professor Mayawati Kumari.
- How to attract vote bank from neighboring countries and provide immediate citizenship and voter ids and still remain "secular".
# by professors Digvijay Singh, Kapil Sibal, Shinde, Dr Manmohan Singh under able guidance of Smt Sonia Gandhi.
- Systematic destruction of a country by extensive loot and investing in Swiss banks by Professor from Cambridge A Maino & Sonia.
- How to change your name to deceive people and keep hidden nationality. by professor A Maino & Sonia.
...And Many Many More..!!
SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL JOIN
THE C-SCHOOL...
&
NCII IS THE BEST
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