The Funniest Matrimonial Adz
Fisherman
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms
and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please
send photograph of motor boat.
Salesman
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the
original, genuine article. One of the most handsome
and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a
wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has
own house, car and successful career!
Economist
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my
requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my
demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the
national interest.
Mathematician
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must
be numerate and understand complex algebraic
logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.
IT Consultant
Well there is definite room for improvement in my
life. The speed of my current flows of information and
processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife
into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.
Business Man
Wife wanted for company.
Politician
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the
ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and
to build upon past differences and short comings. I
believe that we the people need someone to share our
lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the
social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting to
the point)
Car Dealer
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.
Should be in excellent working condition.
Farmer
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.
Lawyer
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible
candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The
person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The
girl should be willing to surrender to the service and
jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections
would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in
limited confidence as all liabilities are null and
void in the event of failure on our part of any kind
whatsoever
Pilot
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level
headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the
clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her
heart must be in it for the long haul. And she
absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
Banker
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me
with her service
Shair(Poet)
Bari muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai
Key hum bhe shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,
Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka...............
Joh kurrey sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butatah hoon .........
Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee
sarey sarey.
Accountant
Required a girl - 5'8". She must be averse to making
unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be
one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit from a nice personality
and be a credit to her family.
Sharabi (Drinker)
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a
drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who
drinks only when friends come around. Friends come
around only seven times a week. Girl preferred who can
carry me from bar to ghar-bar(home). Meet personally
in a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be
ample.
Mini Cab Driver
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm
calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me
up. Driving license not necessary, but maps reading
skills are a bonus.
Beggar
Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee
nahi to upni hee dey dey, Allah terah bhalla karray,
Tujhey eik key badlay doh dey dey, Hillary hogi toh
Monika bhi dey dey!
Builder
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my
life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship
from the ground up.
Doctor
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my
life. However if you feel the need for a second
opinion then it's fine by me.
Army Commando
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife
and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage
provided.
Race Car Driver
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track
life. Must be able to keep pace!
Astronaut
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life.
Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are
out of this world.
Tact is for people who
are not witty enough
to be sarcastic
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