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--Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing,
they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? " She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."
--Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs... .."
--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u
let him in!
--Anonymous
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly
parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was
diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to
die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin .
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! " |
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