 Humorous Epitaphs Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing
That made her go. |  Here lies the father of 29
There would have been more
But he didn't have time. |  Here lies my wife
Here let her lie
Now she has peace
And so do I | Here lies a virgin
With her babe resting in her arms. | Here lies Ned
There is nothing more to be said
Because we like to speak
well of the dead. |  Here lies Lester Moore,
Four slugs from a forty-four.
No Les, No Moore. | In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 25,
Who was accidentally burned March 21, 1870,
By the explosion of a lamp filled with R.E. Danforth's Non-explosive burning fluid. | Here lies an atheist,
All dressed up and,
No place to go. |  Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw. | She lived with her husband fifty years
And died in the confident hope of a better life. | In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood within another.
The outer wood is very good:
We cannot praise the other. | Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow,
aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife,
and yearns to be comforted. | Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767 | Harry Edsel Smith
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft
to see if the car was on
the way down.
It was. | Honey you don't know
what you did for me,
Always playing the lottery.
The numbers you picked
came in to play,
Two days after you passed away.
For this,
a huge monument I do erect,
For now I get a yearly check.
How I wish you were alive,
For now we are worth 8.5
(Actual epitaph of Elizabeth Rich,
Eufala, Alabama) |
Under the sod,
Under the trees,
Lies the body of
Bolivar Peas,
Peas ain't here,
Only the pod,
Peas shelled out
and went home to God. |
 All I have and all that I am is by the Grace of God! |
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