A twin-engine passenger plane has an engine failure and the altitude and speed are decreasing rapidly. The pilot speaks over the intercom ...
"I'm sorry things have come to this stage ladies and gentlemen, But unfortunately we are going to have to jettison the luggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne ". Baggage is thrown out but still the plane's altitude continues to decrease.
Once again the pilot gets on the intercom, "I hate to do this folks but in order to save the majority we are going to have to start off-loading some passengers. The only fair way is to do this Alphabetically, so we'll start with the Letter 'A'".
"Africans? Are there any Africans on board?"
There was no answer so the pilot calls,
"Black people, are there any black people on board?" Again silence.."
Then on to alphabet C - coloured people.........? Are there any coloured people on board?" Still there is silence.
A little black boy sitting near the rear of the plane turned to his mother and said, "Mum, ain't we African? ..... Ain't we black? .........Ain't we coloured?"
She replied, "Yes, son but for the moment we is Niggers. Let them do the Americans.... the Australians first, ..........then the Bhutanese, ............the British, the Burmese ..the Canadians , the Chinese......in that order.....,till they reach the Muslims, ...and so on and on all countries and people starting with M are done. After that...if the plane still needs more jettisoning...we is Zulus". .....O.K?
**
One afternoon, a wealthy businessman was riding in his Limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one of the two men, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have money for food." the poor man said, "So, we have to eat grass." "Well, then, come with me to my house. I will feed you." the businessman said. "But, Sir," the poor man said, "I have my wife and two children with me. They are over there under the tree." The businessman said, "Bring them too with you." Then, turning to the other man, he said, "You too come with us." The other man said in a pitiable voice, "I too have my wife and six children with me." The wealthy man said, "You bring them as well and all of you get into my car." They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the Limousine was! On the way, one of the poor men turned the wealthy man and said gratefully, "Sir, you are really a very kind man. Thank you very much for taking us to your house." The wealthy businessman replied, "Glad to do it. You all will simply love my place. The grass in my garden is almost one metre high...!!!"
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