Bunty and his attractive wife are playing golf when the ball goes inside someone's house. They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.
Man: I want to thank you. I'm a genie who was trapped for 1,000 years in the bottle. I'll give you both one wish each and I'll keep one for myself.
Bunty: I want Rs.1 billion.
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world.
Genie: Done. Done.
Bunty: And what's your wish, genie?
Genie: I haven't spent any time with any woman. I want a day with your wife.
Bunty: Ummmm OK... You're getting us a lot of money. I guess I don't mind.
The genie spends the day with his wife, and later asks her, "How old is your husband?"
Wife: 35
Genie: Really"? And he still believes in genie stories…
(Me: Humor aside, this is how the umpteen numbers of the assorted charlatans who pass off as sadhus, godmen, swamijis, tantriks, mantrawadis, etc. take their gullible, devout followers especially women for a huge ride in monetary terms and/or sexually assault them. Today's ToI also carries a story of how a tantric gypped a taxi driver of a cool 6 lakhs rupees promising hidden treasure trove of gold. We Indians should develop a scientific temper and not blindly believe in superstition, boot, prêt, spirits, ghosts, etc... Mythological stories are all just what they are: pure and unadulterated myth born in the fertile imaginations of authors millennia ago. You cannot work miracles or make a mongo simply by chanting mantras!).
Weird world…
Miracle sheep survives for 11 days under deep snow.
A pregnant sheep managed to survive 11 days buried under a snowdrift in South West Scotland. The miracle animal somehow managed to stay alive under a snowdrift for nearly two weeks after terrible weather hit the country.
**
Lockup recommended for man who sneaked into jails.
A man who repeatedly used phony credentials to gain entry into New York City's jails may get his wish to do more time. Matthew Matagrano said he repeatedly sneaked into jails because the people inside were nice and made him "feel important".
**
Two morons are trying to measure a telephone pole. They keep trying to climb it and keep sliding down. Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
The two idiots say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."
The shmuck wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. The he picks it up, puts it back in the ground, says 40 feet and walks away.
The first moron says to the other, "What a stupid idiot; we wanted the height, not the length."
**
Man to wife: "According to this, a couple our age should be Twittering each other 3 to 5 times a week"
**
Mindchow
The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart.
**
Line Maro
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me.
(Me: No, it came out to blank you out…)
**
Health tips...
Drinking buttermilk mixed with two teaspoons of coriander juice works as an effective natural cure for nausea.
**
There was a father who gave 100 rupees each to his three sons and asked them to buy things and fill up a room completely.
First son brought wood for Rs.100 but could not fill up the room entirely.
Second son bought cotton for Rs.100 but could not fill the room entirely.
The third son bought a candle for Re.1 and lit it up and the room filled with light completely.
Recounting this tale, a politician said, XYZ is like the third son. Since the day he has taken charge of his office, our country is filled with the bright light of prosperity."
Another politician responded: This is really great… but where is the remaining Rs.99?
(Incidentally, while the entire media and intelligentsia in the country swear by democracy and wah-wahs its vibrancy, they wouldn't want certain politicians with mass adulation to take charge of the affairs of the country after a fair and square election simply because of their pathological, but wholly unreasonable, allergy for them)
**
Think it over…
"Considering how dangerous everything is, nothing is really very frightening" – Gertrude Stein
**
From the world of science…
Diet pill to prevent obesity soon.
London: After discovering how to "re-wire" appetite control in the brain, scientists are a step closer to developing a pill that can prevent obesity. The breakthrough could lead to a long-lasting cure for the problem, which has reached epidemic proportions in the UK.
**
Astronauts could now be a step closer for a trip to Mars through a unique manipulation of nuclear fusion, the same energy that powers the sun and stars.
**
Pun fun…
Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colours do you have?"
**
(Mis)quote of our times…
"She also happens to be by far the best-looking attorney general in the country.. It's true, come on" – Obama, US Prez. on California attorney gen. Kamala Harris.
(Me: don't get why all the huge hue and cry about the remark being sexist. Should any man not pay a handsome (!) – and honest - compliment about woman being beautiful, openly)
**
News of the day…
0.4% of teachers pass eligibility test.
City teachers are worried about appearing for the new teachers eligibility test conducted under the Right to Education Act, as on 0.4% of teachers across the country passed in 2012.
(Comment: the teachers, already in employ or the prospective ones, don't upgrade their skillset to meet the minimum requirement, but would happily and with great alacrity go on strike demanding higher pay and perks. No wonder, our education system and education are in a scandalous shambles. People in walk of our society want fat salaries but without earning it)
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