An apocryphal joke attributed to Shakespeare
His wife: What's the similarity between Woman and Alcohol?
Shakespeare: They both have amazing qualities of giving pleasure at night and headache in morning.
(Me: This contribution came from an English teacherfriend and a woman at that. So I take it be true!).
"We are all worms. But I believe I'm a glow-worm" Winston Churchill
(Me: ha! A naked confession n conceitedness..).
Tongue in cheek
My resume is basically a list of things I hate to do!
Line Maro
Smoking is hazardous to your health and baby, you're killing me!
(Me: You're welcome to kill yourself that is..)
**
Health tips
Eat 56g of fenugreek (methi) seeds every day over 24 weeks to reduce cholesterol levels (it reduces blood sugar, too).
(Me: A good thing about this tip is, the tip gives the precise amount to consume..).
Weird world
Serbs set up 'Rage Room' to unleash anger.
Savo Duvnjak and Nikola Pausic look around the room, Duvnjak lifts a metal baseball bat and wrecks everything in sight bed, table, shelves, chair until there's nothing left to wreck. This isn't a criminal onslaught. It's the Rage Room opened by the two. And it's smashing its way to success. "This feels so good!. I feel I let go of all my negative energy", he said.
(Me: Letting off steam does release your pent-up anger. The original idea, as usual, came from an enterprising American).
**
Drunk driver crashes car eight times in one mile.
Connecticut: Police say a driver was so intoxicated that he was involved in eight collisions within a mile before slamming into a pole on Tuesday.
**
Portland: Firefighters cut through concrete and used a soapy lubricant to free a woman who fell and became stuck in a narrow opening between two buildings on Wednesday. She couldn't explain how she fell.
**
Surgeons leave 16 items in patient's body after operation
A lawyer in Germany claims surgeons left up to 16 objects in her client's body, including a needle, compresses and surgical strips, after an operation for prostate cancer. Helmut Brecht, whose wounds failed to heal properly due to items left in his body, died last year and his family is seeking $106,216 in damages
**
This India
CBI seizes Rs.1 crore from officer's houses.
The CBI on Thursday recovered over Rs. One crore in cash from three properties of an Environment Ministry official, who was arrested along with a middle-man for allged accepting a bribe of Rs. seven lakhs from a cement firm.
(Me: a regulation, ANY regulation, provides opportunities to the dishonest officials to milk money from public who would be adversely affected by it (the rule). Since "environment" and "green" are the buzzwords in currency now, the department personnel concerned can allegedly mint money through dubious means tightening (or appearing to tighten) the screws on those come for licences or exemptions. As the PM rightly said recently, environment/green clearance is another name for the obnoxious pre-1990 licence-permit-raj)
**
"Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work" Mark Twain.
(Me: But you can steal another's thunder steal the credit for another's work..!! haha)
**
A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide, who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.
A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?"
"1215," answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, "Damn! Just missed it by a half-hour!"
(Me: Not sooo laffing a matter if you don't know the onions, that is British history..)
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