They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it�s true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home economist in Bed.

Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I�m blue. U r my headache, one day I�ll kill u.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It�s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

What did the gangster�s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
�Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!�

What�s the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

A little boy went up to his father and asked : �Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?�
His father replied: �Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.�

Jimmy�s teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : �Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.�
The mother wrote back the next day: �If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!�