"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one student rose to her feet.
"Now then young lady, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't, sad the student. "But I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
**
Man to wife: "I've been working there for 23 years and my boss still doesn't know my name. That's what I like best about my job."
**
Health tips...
Can sweet potatoes lower my cancer risk?
Sweet potatoes have been shown to lower the risk of various kinds of cancer, including colorectal, kidney, and breast cancer. They are among the oldest vegetables known to man, having been consumed since prehistoric times.
(Me: Yep, the same lowly chakkaravalli kizhangu in Tamil)
**
Radish (muli/manjal mullangi) is a very good detoxifier; it helps in purifying the blood.
**
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mae to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
**
Weird world…
"When my client's wife first handed the new-born baby to him," Jian Feng's lawyer told a court in northern China, "he was appalled at how incredibly ugly it was. He is a handsome man, and he had married a beautiful woman, so naturally he suspected his wife of infidelity, and confronted her.
"After DNA tests confirmed that they were indeed the natural parents, the wife confessed a secret to her husband. Before they had met, she had undergone more than $100,000 worth of intense cosmetic surgery in South Korea, to drastically improve her appearance. She showed him "before and after" pictures, which confirmed a marked improvement in her looks.
When Feng found out about these procedures, he was outraged, and immediately filed for divorce, claiming that the woman had convinced him to marry under false pretences.
Jiang Feng later told the judge that "I married my wife out of love, but as soon as we had our first daughter, we began having marital issues. Our daughter is incredibly ugly, to the point where it horrifies me."
(Me: What a shame! Some guys are scum of the society)
**
Husbands…
Husbands are an unpredictable lot,
Ever craving for what can't be got
When things are cold, they like it hot
Always wanting what is not,
God help them!
**
My friend Melvin Pinto's otherwise healthy marriage was tested often by Melvin's outspoken admiration for tall, leggy women. His pretty wife, Nancy, generally ignored these comments, but once in my presence, she lost her temper and asked angrily, "Melvin, if you like tall women with long legs so much, why did you marry me?
Witty Melvin answered, "I thought you'd grow!"
**
Advantages of co-education!
At the opening of a new school, an aged minister addressed the audience, "Ladies and gentlemen, many of you may be sorry to see the end of the fine old school, now merged with the girls' high school. There are naturally some things that boys can do that girls cannot, and some things that girls can do that boys cannot. But believe me, the best are the things that boys and girls can do together."
**
Mindchow
Be sure you put your feet in the right place and then stand firm
**
Weird world…
Topless feminists hurl themselves at Berlusconi
Milan: Three topless feminists lunged at Italy's Silvio Berlusconi as he arrived at a polling station in Milan to vote in a general election on Sunday.
(Berlusconi, if you didn't know, is the septuagenarian Italian ex-PM and millionaire bizman who is better known for his sexapades when in office and out…)
**
US lawyer forgotten, locked in jail's visiting room.
San Diego: A lawyer in the US was furious after being trapped and forgotten inside a San Diego jail for hours.
(Me: Some allege these worthies are good at trapping others…so, it is kinda poetic justice..)
**
Tweet of the day: "MSD: "Decided to give my best, now that Vice Presidentship of India Cements was at stake"
(Me: A punny comment attributed to Dhoni on his scoring a double hundred in the current cricket series with Australia. Dhoni has been appointed Vice President of India Cements by the company's MD, Srinivasan, who is also the BCCI chairman. Dhoni is also the captain of Chennai Super Kings, an IPL team owned by the same India Cements.)
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