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What Negativity has Taught Me About Life

We all experience negative thoughts at times, and we have been accustomed to treating them as a bad things that should be fought or avoided, or that it is a sign of weakness. As a result, the way we deal with negativity is often accompanied by being angry with ourselves, which makes these negative thoughts hold us back by keeping us "stuck in our own heads", without the ability to move forward. However, you'll be surprised to learn that it is these "negative" thoughts that can teach us some very important lessons, and our fear of negativity is preventing us from learning these lessons. Next time your mind wanders into the "negative zone", don't try and shove them down, and instead use them as stairs to climb back up. Here are the seven most important lessons you can learn from negative thoughts.

1. If you're lost, negativity can be your compass Being angry at yourself in times of crisis can cause you to become lost in a sea of thoughts, and even forget why you got to this state in the first place, preventing you from avoiding it next time. Instead, try using your negative thoughts as a compass: think of why you became angry in the first place to try and find the source of your frustration, as well as remind you where you want to be. You can guide your search with questions such as: When did I become angry with myself? Has this sort of thing happen in the past? Was my reactions to this situation different last time? If I acted differently, was I more or less frustrated?

Another way of using negative thoughts as a compass is by mapping out your fears or the obstacles in your way of feeling better. Try asking yourself: Am I mad at myself because there's something I could have done differently? If so, can I avoid this type of obstacle next time? Are there other ways to approach this problem? What can I do differently next time? 2. Falling into familiar holes doesn't become less painful Imagine walking down the street and suddenly you fall into a hole. The first time it happens, you'll be mad at the city for the bad planning, the second time you'll be mad because they still haven't fixed the problem despite of the risk, but the third time you'll be mad at yourself, because you should have remembered that there's a hole there. Why did you fall into that hole time after time? Most likely because you weren't looking where you're heading, and were too busy blaming others, thus avoiding your own responsibility. The best way to deal with such "holes" in your life is made out of several stages: Covering the hole if you can, finding a way around the hole while it's still there, and keep looking forward to avoid falling into that hole (or others) in the future. Instead of blaming others for your predicament, take responsibility for what you can do differently and do it.

3. Your best friend is you Negativity turns you into your own judge, jury, and executioner. As proof, we still remember certain mistakes we've made in the past that others have already forgotten. However, we tend to ignore the most important lesson that each negative thought carries with it: just as we are our own worst judges, we are also our best friends. Instead of running in circles, finding yourself guilty time and time again, try looking at the problem impartially, as if a friend is telling you about their problem and is asking for your opinion. What would be your advice? Is this really a problem that cannot be overcome? When you look at an issue from the sideline, you can often find a solution more easily. If you keep practicing this lesson, you'll find it easier to connect to yourself, and stop judging yourself so harshly.

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