Atheists in Kerala installed a God of their own a few years ago. Nobody knows what the god was called originally. But already over the last few years there have been many differences of opinions as to how his name should be spelled. Some say it should be Dinkan, Others swear it is Dinken, Still others say it should be Tinken or Dinkan or Tinkan ... etc. Accordingly the devotees call themselves Dinkenites, Dinkanites, Tinkanites etc and there are reports of much unpleasantness over what the true name is. Similarly within each sect there are differences of opinion as to the nature of this deity. But the devotees of all denominations are agreed that the god looks like an overgrown mouse with an overdeveloped chest and matching muscular arms and wearing a suit like that of the comic character 'superman' with a blue clock and a red underwear worn over his blue leggings.
The devotees have no doubts over the omnipotence, omnipresence and other omni-qualities of Dinken or whatever you want to call it. He loves and protects all men and animals except mice since mice look like him and the god thinks mice pose a challenge to him as devotees may start favoring mice instead of Dinken or Dinkan or Tinken or .... There have been reports of his curing incurable diseases and granting impossible boons. But if you even look kindly on a mouse or think well of a mouse the outcome will be disastrous beyond imagination.
The God's origins are obscure and devotees swear that he was born in a black hole before the four yugas out of a homosexul relationship between a hippo and a mouse. It seems the huge Hippo was in deep meditation and so totally oblivious of being ravished by the tiny mouse and consequently the divine offspring of the union is all mouse except for its size which it inherits from the hippo. If you scoff at this story, they - The Dinkenites - glare at you and ask you why you find this story absurd if your educated rocket engineers, scientists and even you PM can propagate stories of virgin birth and the story of the whole earth emitting from the navel of Brahma who married his own daughter. They also narrate the story of Dhrona according to which Bharadwaja maharshi went to the Ganga River to bathe and there he beheld a beautiful apsara named Ghritachi who had come to bathe. The sage was overcome by desire, causing him to ejaculate a reproductive fluid. Bharadwaja Muni captured the fluid in a vessel called a Drona, and Dronacharya himself sprang from the fluid thus preserved. They - the Dinkenites - would then say that Drona would later boast that he had sprung from Bharadwaja without ever having been in a womb. They then tell you that if these cock and bull stories are plausible their stories of Dinken are far more plausible.
Dinken wears a cloak over tight fitting overall. There is also difference of opinion among the devotees as to what the color of his cape and cloak are and whether he wears a star or a planet or a moon on his chest. So all these conflicting opinions over the spelling of his name, the color of his wear and over whether it is a star or a planet or a moon that he wears on his chest, there is a bewildering proliferation of sects, denominations and sub-denominations.
His favorite offering is cheese and tight underwear which should be used as overwear as in the picture. The preferred color of this over/underwear varies from denomination to denomination and recently there are striped under/over wear of different colors in vogue among the atheist devotees. On festival occasions in his favor, devotees of all sexes wear the underwear of their favorite colors over their pants, skirts, dhotis, Saris ... etc as the case may be and some wear the underwear of their preferred color over their heads like Gandhi cap.
There is Malayalam movie under production titled Dinkoon starring Dileep. This has enraged Dinken devotees of all denominations since they think that the name Dinkoon is a blasphemy of their god. So they took out a march last week and had a demonstration before Dileep's home and there are reports that they threw some missiles at his home which the devotees deny.
Their numbers are growing alarmingly and there is much talk of their setting up Dindrassas to indoctrinate their children on the omnipotent exploits of their god. They already have a majority in a village of Kerala which they have renamed Dinkistan. If you go there and even cough at their stories they abuse you and tell you to get out of Dinkistan and go to Hindustan or Pakistan according to your religion. It is truly alarming
Posted by: Xavier William <varekatx@gmail.com>
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