Happiness and Fear cannot occupy
the same conscious space at the same time...
We get to choose which one we think serves us best
the same conscious space at the same time...
We get to choose which one we think serves us best
"No matter what difficulty you are facing, it is coming from Divine Light to bring you to a higher place within. Write down every conceivable reason that this situation can contribute towards your growth. Write down every way this experience can possibly set the stage for serving to uplift others. When you are complete, and have come to the other side of this experience, you will then know 'why' it happened." ~ Barbara Rose
"I am Me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay."
Virginia Satir
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay."
Virginia Satir
Procrastination
- Probably the number one cause for people to be disorganized, for not achieving what they want, for not being the best they could be. What people don't realize, however, is you only need the right tools to conquer it.
Let's brush away the reasons why you might be procrastinating and we will basically leave you with no excuse to simply get on with it."I haven't got the time right now."This is the most popular excuse for procrastinators. The thing is you are probably right. You have not got the whole block of time it takes to tackle the spare room, or the whole of the ironing pile, or the complete reorganization of the kitchen. But you have got 10 minutes, or maybe even 20 or 30. And that is all it takes to make a start.
Start by sorting through one box, ironing 10 or 20 items, tackling one single drawer. And if you do that every day, you will realize that you are making slow but steady progress.
If you find yourself still procrastinating, then there must be other, deeper rooted reasons behind that. These possible other reasons fall into two categories, ones concerning the project itself, the others your personality style.
First, let's look at the project itself. The project might be perceived as:
1. Threatening
2. Too difficult
3. Boring 4. Impossible to finish
5. Waste of time
1. If a project or the outcome of the project is perceived as threatening, thoughts like "I'm in trouble if I get this wrong" might be going through your head. In this case a natural reaction is not to start the project at all or not to progress beyond a certain point so as to avoid failure. In cases like this make sure you have all the facts right. Ask questions:"What is the worst thing that could happen - realistically?" "How likely is this to happen?""What exactly do I need to do to get it right?" "Have I got all the skills and abilities to do this project?" - If the answer is no, then you should probably consider to get someone to help.
2. If you think a project is too difficult, you might never start it.
Sit down and think about what is difficult. Are you just unsure of how to start and how to break the project into smaller manageable chunks? Find an expert on the subject, someone who has done a similar project before and ask for help.
3. If you think a project is boring, try and make it more interesting, See how much you can achieve in a certain amount of time. And then for the next chunk, see if you can beat your previous record. Or put some of your favorite music on while you work.
4. If you think a project is impossible to finish, either it's the type of project that literally never ends (like housework) or it is a very large project. Again, breaking it up into smaller portions will help. Set yourself a daily target.5. Finally, if you consider the project a waste of time, re-evaluate it. Does it really need to be done? Is it simply one of those jobs that need to be redone on a regular basis like tidying up or ironing. Use one of the solutions from number 4 to get the job done.
Some jobs do seem to be a waste of time but we would sink into crud and chaos if we didn't do them at all.The second set of reasons is to do with someone's personality. These could be:
1. Perfectionism
2. Thriving on adrenaline
3. Lack of self confidence
4. Internalized negatives
5. Externalized positives Let's look at these hurdles to getting things done in detail, see what they are about and how they manifest and what you can do about them.
1. A lot of people have a perfectionist trait. This kind of mindset is fine if that perfect condition is feasible and you have a good track record of starting and finishing your projects. If you don't, then your perfectionism is probably an excuse for not starting the project at all.
2. "I work better under pressure." We all know people like that and we might have used that phrase ourselves. Again, there are two ways of dealing with this. Number one, it's a good excuse not to start until the last possible moment, and it's simply a way to put things off. Divide your project into segments and do one each day until it's done. Number two, if you literally work better under pressure, and some of us do, then make the project more challenging. Set mini-goals with a shorter deadline. This way you keep yourself on your toes but are still making timely progress towards your end goal.Also, get a project buddy. Tell someone about your project, and the deadline.
Make yourself accountable. And be sure that certain someone is a person who will check up on you.
3. If you suffer from a lack of self confidence and feel that you simply can't tackle the project, find out what the first thing is you need to do to start the project. Do that, then find out the next step and so on. Also, divide the project into smaller chunks.
4. Internalizing negatives means that you always look for faults within yourself. If you do this, you will quite easily come up with negative emotions, such as "I'm lazy that's why I don't get things done" or "I'm stupid that's why I don't know where to start". I can assure you that none of this is true. You might lack motivation or not be an expert on a particular subject but you can easily do something about that. Think of a treat that you reward yourself with once you have completed the first part of the task and then keep rewarding yourself for every bit that you achieve until the project is completed. Also, there is no shame in asking people for help and advice on how to tackle a particular project.
5. Externalized positives are usually the reverse side of the same coin as internalized negatives. It means that you attribute anything positive that you do to outside influences and not to your skills and abilities, such as "I was lucky last time and it was easy. I could never do that again." It is usually a sign of lack of self confidence.
Achieving something has most often nothing to do with luck. It is more likely to be the result of hard work and skill. And when you found something easy then you had the skills and talent to do it and nothing less.Any more excuses? Or did we cover them all and showed you how to conquer them? So what's stopping you now?
About the Author: Isi Dixon is a Professional Organizer and Motivational Speaker in the Nottingham area of Great Britain. She specializes in helping homes and small businesses make more of their time and space. If you would like to find out more, please visit her websitehttp://www.wellorganised.org/ or her blog http://wellorganised.blogspot.com/
- Probably the number one cause for people to be disorganized, for not achieving what they want, for not being the best they could be. What people don't realize, however, is you only need the right tools to conquer it.
Let's brush away the reasons why you might be procrastinating and we will basically leave you with no excuse to simply get on with it."I haven't got the time right now."This is the most popular excuse for procrastinators. The thing is you are probably right. You have not got the whole block of time it takes to tackle the spare room, or the whole of the ironing pile, or the complete reorganization of the kitchen. But you have got 10 minutes, or maybe even 20 or 30. And that is all it takes to make a start.
Start by sorting through one box, ironing 10 or 20 items, tackling one single drawer. And if you do that every day, you will realize that you are making slow but steady progress.
If you find yourself still procrastinating, then there must be other, deeper rooted reasons behind that. These possible other reasons fall into two categories, ones concerning the project itself, the others your personality style.
First, let's look at the project itself. The project might be perceived as:
1. Threatening
2. Too difficult
3. Boring 4. Impossible to finish
5. Waste of time
1. If a project or the outcome of the project is perceived as threatening, thoughts like "I'm in trouble if I get this wrong" might be going through your head. In this case a natural reaction is not to start the project at all or not to progress beyond a certain point so as to avoid failure. In cases like this make sure you have all the facts right. Ask questions:"What is the worst thing that could happen - realistically?" "How likely is this to happen?""What exactly do I need to do to get it right?" "Have I got all the skills and abilities to do this project?" - If the answer is no, then you should probably consider to get someone to help.
2. If you think a project is too difficult, you might never start it.
Sit down and think about what is difficult. Are you just unsure of how to start and how to break the project into smaller manageable chunks? Find an expert on the subject, someone who has done a similar project before and ask for help.
3. If you think a project is boring, try and make it more interesting, See how much you can achieve in a certain amount of time. And then for the next chunk, see if you can beat your previous record. Or put some of your favorite music on while you work.
4. If you think a project is impossible to finish, either it's the type of project that literally never ends (like housework) or it is a very large project. Again, breaking it up into smaller portions will help. Set yourself a daily target.5. Finally, if you consider the project a waste of time, re-evaluate it. Does it really need to be done? Is it simply one of those jobs that need to be redone on a regular basis like tidying up or ironing. Use one of the solutions from number 4 to get the job done.
Some jobs do seem to be a waste of time but we would sink into crud and chaos if we didn't do them at all.The second set of reasons is to do with someone's personality. These could be:
1. Perfectionism
2. Thriving on adrenaline
3. Lack of self confidence
4. Internalized negatives
5. Externalized positives Let's look at these hurdles to getting things done in detail, see what they are about and how they manifest and what you can do about them.
1. A lot of people have a perfectionist trait. This kind of mindset is fine if that perfect condition is feasible and you have a good track record of starting and finishing your projects. If you don't, then your perfectionism is probably an excuse for not starting the project at all.
2. "I work better under pressure." We all know people like that and we might have used that phrase ourselves. Again, there are two ways of dealing with this. Number one, it's a good excuse not to start until the last possible moment, and it's simply a way to put things off. Divide your project into segments and do one each day until it's done. Number two, if you literally work better under pressure, and some of us do, then make the project more challenging. Set mini-goals with a shorter deadline. This way you keep yourself on your toes but are still making timely progress towards your end goal.Also, get a project buddy. Tell someone about your project, and the deadline.
Make yourself accountable. And be sure that certain someone is a person who will check up on you.
3. If you suffer from a lack of self confidence and feel that you simply can't tackle the project, find out what the first thing is you need to do to start the project. Do that, then find out the next step and so on. Also, divide the project into smaller chunks.
4. Internalizing negatives means that you always look for faults within yourself. If you do this, you will quite easily come up with negative emotions, such as "I'm lazy that's why I don't get things done" or "I'm stupid that's why I don't know where to start". I can assure you that none of this is true. You might lack motivation or not be an expert on a particular subject but you can easily do something about that. Think of a treat that you reward yourself with once you have completed the first part of the task and then keep rewarding yourself for every bit that you achieve until the project is completed. Also, there is no shame in asking people for help and advice on how to tackle a particular project.
5. Externalized positives are usually the reverse side of the same coin as internalized negatives. It means that you attribute anything positive that you do to outside influences and not to your skills and abilities, such as "I was lucky last time and it was easy. I could never do that again." It is usually a sign of lack of self confidence.
Achieving something has most often nothing to do with luck. It is more likely to be the result of hard work and skill. And when you found something easy then you had the skills and talent to do it and nothing less.Any more excuses? Or did we cover them all and showed you how to conquer them? So what's stopping you now?
About the Author: Isi Dixon is a Professional Organizer and Motivational Speaker in the Nottingham area of Great Britain. She specializes in helping homes and small businesses make more of their time and space. If you would like to find out more, please visit her websitehttp://www.wellorganised.org/ or her blog http://wellorganised.blogspot.com/
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