Chances are you are frozen in habits that don't reflect you being the most evolved 'you' that is possible. Most set the 'bar' of who they really are as well as for personal relationships too low, while even being convinced that that is all there is! Raise the 'bar' on your inner loving potential! If you're 35 or 75, why be what you were at 13 that didn't work as well as you'd like then? Dragging negative habits all through life is selfish both to yourself, those you love, and the one you love. Shame on you! And, smoking or drugging it away never works for long.
Try a simple meditation to ultimately disconnect from attached to negatives of habits and fears. Find a quiet spot, in fact make it your spot to relax, and use one of many methods to dissolve attachments that are burdensome. Lingering habits have been attached for a long time so don't expect them to disappear over night except for a feel good time after meditating.
Sit or lie down comfortably, and close your eyes. Take a deep slow breath deep from the belly. Lips softly together, slowly let all your breath out while doing a humming sound with lips softly together. Repeat over and over in a relaxed state. Whatever images and thoughts come up, just be the watcher of them with no judgment. At first, try it for 10-15 minutes, increasing the time to 3/4 of an hour. When stopping, sit or lie quietly and just watch whatever comes up for a few minutes (5 or 10). Be aware that when you first go about your day, you may be vulnerable to negative or positive stimuli. If it's negative be gentle, and just watch letting it pass. Call it the 'Humming Meditation'.
Not loving who you are as much as anyone, or anything in the world, or even your concept of god, is to spit in the face of millions of years it took for you to be here at this incredibly precious time! I recommend finding a nice belt, and use it five minutes a day to self punish your derriere other wise known as your gluteus maximus. Hopefully, you'll not need that waker upper more than a day or two! Never look a 'gift horse' in the mouth! Receive and treasure the 'you', you were given to grow inside to the heights of a 'divine being'. You did win the 'lottery of life' after millions of years, now it's your turn to give back the gratitude by loving yourself as a god would, and then spread it! Do the 'breath of life', breathing deeper love comes!
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