Saturday, 21 June 2014

[www.keralites.net] HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

 An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.
The doctor says, ' George, everything looks great.How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God? '
George replies, ' God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off. '
' Wow, that's incredible, ' the doctor says.
A little later in the day, after thinking at length over George's extraordinary explanation,  the doctor calls George's wife.
' Ethel, ' he says, ' George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! The light goes off? '
' Oh my God! ' Ethel exclaims. ' He's pissing in the fridge again.   
     __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
 
 Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
    You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish  you had ordered that.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    Man: Is there any way for long life?
    Dr: Get married.
    Man: Will it help?
    Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
    It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
    begins
    _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
    Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
    It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. 
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
    women and then he turns them into Wives !
         __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    A man, who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who
    surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
    something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
    There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
    banking. It's called marriage
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
         Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?
    Take vo Marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar
    Nark jaye to homely feel kare..
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Why do Bride Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
    To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead!
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Different Phases of a man:
    After engagement: Superman
    After Marriage: Gentlema?
    After 10 years: Watchman
    After 20 years: Doberman
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
    There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
    __________ _________ _________ _________ _________
    Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
    Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
 

 
--
 
Manju.
 

www.keralites.net

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Posted by: Manjri Sharma <manjri.hs@gmail.com>
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[www.keralites.net] Flowers n Moods

 


 

Be like the flower, turn your faces to the sun.

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Zamane Ki Hr Jannat Tumhari Hogi Ye Aasmaan

 Or Ye Zamee Tumhari Hogi Mujhse Keh B Na Paoge

Us Se Pehle Mere Hisse Ki Har Khushi Tumhari Hogi ~

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net


 

Jab Dhadkano Ko Tham Leta He Koi Jab Khyalo Me

 Naam Humara Leta He Koi Yade Tab Or Yadgar Ban Jati He Jab Hume Hamse Behtar Jaan […] 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Unka hi jikr aata hai ab meri har baat me.

 Kuch paya kuch kho diya jaise unsi mulakat me.

 Neend bhi mujhsr jaise rooth gayi hai aaj kal,

 Jagti aankho se sapne dekha karta hun raat me. 

Aaisa to pahle kabhi tha nhi main, Kuch to hua hai unse milne k baad me. Mausam bhi […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Maine usse ek ishara kiya 

Usne salaam likh ke bheja.

Maine pucha tumhara naam kya hai?

 Usne chand likh ke bheja. Maine pucha tumhe kya chahiye? 

Usne saara aasmaan likh ke bheja. Maine pucha kab miloge? 

Usne qyamat ki sham likh ke bheja. Maine pucha kis se darte ho?

 Usne muhabbat ka anjaam likh ke bheja. […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Hum yu rasto se door hai faaslo se nahi,

 Aap ke Nazro se door hai aankho se nahi,

 Hum khwabo se door hai khayalo se nahi Hum aap se door hai aap ki yaado se nahi.

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Paanchi kehete hai keh gagan badla hai 

Phool kehete hai keh chaman badla hai 

Lekin shamshaan khi khamoshi keheti hai Keh laash wohi hai, kafan badla hai

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Shikari Ne Parine Ko Maar Diya 

Parinda Jammeen Pe Tadapta Raha 

Ehsaas Hota Hai Kya Tadapne Ka 

Yeh Shikari Ko Mehsoos Tab Hua Aakar Sher Ne Jab Shikari Ko Maar Diya..

 Khuda Kare Unhe Bhi Hum Jaaise Ehsaas Ho Jo Dard Hum Chupate Hain 

Woh Unko Mehsoos Ho Tab Shayad Unhe Humara Khayal Aayega Ho […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Be Like The Moon. So Simple Yet So Attractive, 

So Enlightening Yet So Cool. So Moving Yet So Still,

 So Quite Yet So Popular. So Romantic Yet So Single

. For All The Love U Share, For All The Ways U Care, 

For All The Times U Are There, U R Special And Beyond Compare.. Just […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Apni har ik saans teri ghulam kar rakhi hai,

 logo me ye zindagi badnam kar rakhi hai, aaina bhi nahi ab to kisi kam ka

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Ye waqt lamhe gujar jayenge,

 Zindagi mein kuch khokar kuch payenge, 

Aaj hum yahan hai kal dur chale jayenge, 

Par wada raha roz inbox mein jarur aayenge


 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Jab kabhi mausam mein khushbu bikhar jaye

 Jab kabhi chandni mein raat bikhar jaye, 

Jab kabhi bewajah hi dhadkanein machal jaye, 

to samajhna ki hamne apko yaad kiya.

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Tumhari is ada ka kya jawab du,

 Apne dost ko kya uphar du,

 Koi acha sa phool hota to mali se mangwate,

 Jo khud gulab hai usko kya gulab du

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Milenge milate rahenge, 

Dosti ki yad dilate rahenge, 

Taj mahal to mahanga padega, Mumtaj banate rahenge.

 ` Sath chalne ke liye sathi chahiye,

 Aansu rokne ke liye muskan chahiye, 

Zinda rehne ke liye zindagi chahiye, 

Aur zindagi jine ke liye aap chahiya. `

 Dil do to kisi ek ko, Aur do to kisi nake ko, […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

By: Soeraj Raghunath Jab do dill milte hai to kuch dil toot bhi jate hai,

 Naye naye sapne dekhte hai log to kai sapne toot bhi djate hai.

 Ye maloom hai mujhe to kyu kisi se pyaar kare, 

kyu apna mohobbat ka izhaar kare. 

Apni khushia ke liye kyu kisi ka jeevan barbaad kare Apni […] 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Mohabaat mein ibadaat ki thi uski hooton par naam uska, 

dil mein tasveer thi uski

 par mohabaat k badle mein humein mohabaat nahi mili

 jiss mehfil mein khade khade lut gaye, wo mehfil thi uski

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Khamosh Muhabbat Ka Ehsaas Hai 

Wo, Mere Khwahish Mere Jajbat Hai Wo,

 Aksar Ye Khyal Kyu Aata Hai Dil Mai,

 Meri Pahli Khoj Or Aakhiri Talash Hai Wo

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

Apni har shayari mein tera naam likhte hai

 Apni har saans pe tera naam likhte hai

Agar yaqin na ho toh aazmaa ke dekh lo 

A Tere saamne dil kholke tera naam likhte hai 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

Dil ki aawaz ko izhaar kehte hai, jhuki nigah ko ikrar kehte hai, 

sirf paane ka naam ishq nahi, kuch khone ko bhi pyar kehte hai 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

Sajte dil ke tarane bahot hai, 

Zindagi jine ke bahne bahot hai,

 Aap hamesha muskurate raho,

 Aap ke muskurahat ke deewane bahot hai 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Anger Is Quelled By Compassion

 Enmity Is Quelled By Friendship, 

Hatred Is Conquered By Love,

 And Sins By Good Conduct Some Of The Best Moments In Life:

 Lying In Bed Listening To The Rain Outside… 

Thinking About The Person You Love… 

A Long Drive On A Calm Road…

 Finding Money In Your Old Jeans Just […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

Yun To Guzar Raha Hai,

 Har Ik Pal Khushi Ke Saath,

 Phir Bhi Koi Kami Si Hai,

 Kyu Zindagi Ke Saath Rishta

 Vafayen Dosti, Sab Kuch To Pass Hai, Kya Baat Hai

 Pata Nahi, Dil Kyun Udas Hai, Har Lamha Hai Haseen,

 Nayi Dilkashi Ke Saath, Phir Bhi Koi Kami Si Hai, Kyu Zindagi Ke […] 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Zinda Rahen To Kia Hai,

 Jo Mar Jayen Hum To Kia 

Duniya Se Khamoshi Se Guzar Jayen Hum 

To Kia Hasti He Apni Kia Hai Zamane K Saamney 

Ik Khuwaab Hai Bikhar Jayen Hum 

To Kia Ab Koun Muntazir Hai Hamare Lie Wahan 

Shaam Aa Gayi Lout K Ghar Jayen Hum To Kia Dil Ki […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Chaho Aap jise chahat se zyada. Sapne dekho aap jiske nind se zyada. 

Mango aap jise mannat se zyada. Khuda kare wo bhi aapko pyar kare apni

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

  Dono Baithe Thhe Jaise Bejan Tasvir,

 Nikle Jo Lafj, Badal Hi Gayi Taqdir,

 Koshishe Hain Mitane Kee In Haatho Ki Lakir, 

Tere Bandhan Mein Bandhe Hain,

 Jaise Koi Janjeer.

 Dil Todne Walon Ko Saza Kyu Nahi

 Har Kisi Ko Pyar Ki Dua Kyu Nahi Log Kehte Hain Ishq To Ek Bimari Hai Phir Medical Mein […]

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net

 

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net 


www.keralites.net

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Posted by: Murli dhar Gupta <mdguptabpl@gmail.com>
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