Wednesday, 12 June 2013

[www.keralites.net] Parenting: How you discourage your children

 

3-year old David was playing with his blocks all by himself because his mom was too busy and he had no playmates around. After an hour, he began scattering his blocks all over the room. His mother walked in and tripped.

"How many times do I have to tell you to play in one place? I don't know what to do with you," she yelled, as

quietly listened.

Very often, parents tend not to notice when children behave well. When they do something wrong though, parents react immediately. What many do not understand is one of the main reasons for a child's misbehaviour is to get parental attention. Children crave their parents' attention, be it positive or negative.

Send out positive messages

Children need to hear positive messages from their caretakers in order to promote healthy self-esteem and confidence in themselves. Of course, no parent knowingly intends to lower a child's self esteem, but even the most well-intended criticism is still criticism. Parents may correct behaviour in the hope of wanting their child to perform better or behave in an appropriate manner. Instead, they discourage the child further, without realising it.

Critisim sends the following message to your child: You are not good enough and, in my eyes, you never will be.

Every situation gives us an equal opportunity to encourage or discourage our children. The first step is to realize when we are discouraging them, so we can avoid doing so. You discourage your child when you focus on what he or she has done wrong, criticise, humiliate, nag, be sarcastic, yell or punish the child. You encourage your child when you notice good behaviour and acknowledge it with words of encouragement. So, start focusing on strengths.

You discourage your child when you over protect him and do things he is capable of doing on his own. You encourage your child when you allow him to do things on his own and help him become independent.

You discourage your child when you expect him to be perfectand accept nothing short of it. The child has to please you completely. You encourage your child when you allow him to progress at his own pace, keeping in mind his age and focusing on his efforts.

You discourage your child when you have negative expectations every time he wants to attempt something. You encourage your child when you believe in his capabilities and appreciate his enthusiasm to try new things.

The difference between praise and encouragement

The dictionary defines praise as 'the act of expressing approval or admiration.' Encouragement is defined as 'to inspire with hope, courage and confidence.' The latter stimulates internal growth, helps children value themselves and increases their belief in their abilities. They realise that, although they may not be perfect yet, their efforts have been noticed.

Stop using words like 'good', 'very good', 'wow', 'wonderful' that sound nice but do nothing to motivate your child to do better. Instead, use a response like 'I really like the red colour you have used for the roof' or 'Your toys are all put away nicely' or 'You have worn your shoes all by yourself today.'

These responses say to your child -- 'You are important to me. I notice what you do. I have time for you. ' Besides motivating the child to do better, they also help improve his or her self-esteem.

Be sincere

Honesty is important. So, look for things you truly like and appreciate. For example, let's say your child has been painting for an hour but has made a real mess of it. If, in such a situation, you were to say you liked the painting when you really didn't, your child would be able to see through you and gradually lose trust in your words. Instead, look for something you genuinely liked about the situation and say that. For example, if you liked the fact that the child has sat in one place for an hour without troubling you and made an effort to attempt painting, express that.

Don't bribe your child with encouragement

Some parents use encouragement to manipulate their children. Encouragement must be genuine and given to boost self-esteem, not to get something out of your child. Don't expect that just because you have encouraged your child, he or she should now cooperate with you. Both are separate issues; don't mix them.

Always keep in mind, the key is to look for strengths and focus more on good behaviour, so you get more of that.

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[www.keralites.net] Golden temple - Bylakuppe - Karnataka

 
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[www.keralites.net] Aum is medicine, not just mantra

 

Aum is medicine, not just mantra

Fun & Info @ Keralites.net
Yoga instructor teaches Aum chanting, while another young patient is waiting to attend the session. —DC
Chennai: Abdul Khader chants 'Aum' 30 times during his walk at Gill Nagar park every morning and swears it has significantly helped in healing his acute arthritic pain.
"I used to pray seated in a chair because of acute knee pain from arthritis acquired from long hours of doing business standing. Thanks to the yoga asanas, breathing exercises and the chanting of 'Aum', I am now able to kneel on the mat for my namaz five times a day," said the 50-year-old grocer of MMDA colony in the city, talking excitedly about the wholesome healing experienced at the government yoga and naturopathy college hospital near Anna arch.
"When the doctors explained that chanting 'Aum' is not religious but provides therapeutic gain, I readily agreed to follow that. I am happy I did it," Khader told Deccan Chronicle.
Dr Kanimozhi, assistant professor of yoga, says she had prescribed 'Aum' chanting for even cancer patients, along with other naturopathy medicines. "The chant controls the secretion of stress hormones and acts as a pain reliever. It is scientific as the chant creates a neuro and psycholinguist effect while a positive aura forms around your body when you do it."
There are several patients at the hospital — including Muslims and Christians — who have benefited from chanting 'Aum', prescribed along with yoga asanas and nature healers, and gained relief from ailments such as pain, insomnia, stress, stuttering and other speech difficulties.
The case of 55-year-old Edwin, a senior army officer tormented by ankylosing spondylitis for over a year, is another example. He has healed from chanting 'Aum' and practising asanas and breathing exercises.
"Edwin's case sheet reveals that after two months of practice, he could flex his joints and his sleep cycle got normal," said Dr P. Prabhu, expressing happiness that more and more patients are turning to 'Aum' and other natural healers.

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/130603/news-current-affairs/article/aum-medicine-not-just-mantra

 


Ravi

www.keralites.net

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[www.keralites.net] kafala changing

 
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[www.keralites.net] Khatte-mitten khabhrain from around the world for 12/6/13

 

The three most common languages in the world are Mandarin Chinese, Spanish and English. Around a billion people speak Mandarin Chinese around the world and this language has more native speakers than any other language.
(Me: The language chauvinists in India, to note...).
**
From the world of science…
One step closer to implantable chips...
A new coating will enable silicon-based electronic device to work in the human body for up to 24 hours. The technology could be used to detect early stages of organ transplant rejection.
**
Can chewing gum reduce my food craving and help me lose weight?
A new study revealed that chewing gum did help reduce the number of meals consumed... But study participants consumed more food when they did eat. Another study showed that those who chewed gum were more likely to avoid fruit in favor of junk foods.
(Me: In short, avoid excessive chewing gum!)
**
Emotional or stress-related tears are thought to wash toxic chemicals out of our bodies.
(Me: Shedding copious tears isn't so bad after all)
**
Living with pets helps lower blood pressure and lessen anxiety. They also boost our immunity.
**
Modern humans did not enter the Indian subcontinent until after the supervolcanic eruption of Mount Toba in Sumatra nearly 75,000 years ago, according to new research.
(Me: In sharp contrast, the very first Gods n religions in India were CREATED only about 4,000 years ago…!)
**
Nadal on his possibilities of achieving or even overhauling the Federer's tally of 17 grand slam titles:
"It is something that right now I see as light years away"
(Me: Humility personified that Nadal indeed is!)
**
Weird world…
Woman stabs boyfriend to death with stiletto heel!
Houston: A woman stabbed her boyfriend to death with a stiletto hell in his upscale condominium after a night of drinking, telling authorities she killed him in self-defence, officials said on Monday.
**
Bank employee naps on keyboard, transfers millions…
Berlin: A tired German bank employee fell asleep on his keyboard and accidentally transformed a minor transfer into a 222 million euro order. The Hessen labor court heard that the man was supposed to transfer just 62.40 Euros from a bank account belonging to a retiree. But he 'fell asleep for in instant, while pushing on the number 2 key on the keyboard" – make it a huge 222,222,222.22 euro order.
**
Sex-for-fixing referees jailed in Singapore…
Three Lebanese football referees pleaded guilty on Monday to accepting free sex from a gambling-linked global syndicate in return for rigging match in Singapore, with two jailed for three months, and sentencing deferred for the third.
(Me: that's how crime n punishment ought to be – SWIFT – if it is to act as a deterrent for others. Of course, the ruse isn't quite new: 'honey trap' has been employed and in use for ages to ensnare and then blackmail men)
**
Only 5% of bathroom users wash hands correctly. Most people don't wash their hands long enough to kill the germs: study
(Me: This IS in the west. Things are a lot worse in our part: for, how many wash their hands before a wedding banquet? no wonder, food poisoning and "Bombay Bellies" aren't so very rare here)
**
Men act like kids until they are 49: A new study throws light at the age of maturity for men.
(Me: Men seem to not grow at all, in matters women!)
Woman to smiling husband: "Well, you're in a good mood this morning! What did you dream about last night?"
(Me: about his new gf, of course!)
**
Pun fun…
Q: Why is it that you need to pack a band aid in your lunchbox?
A: For the cold cuts.
**
Mindchow
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
**
Tongue very much in cheek…
Difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" – Robin Williams
**
Line Maro…
Are you an interior decorator? "Cause when I saw you, the room became beautiful.
(Me: Now that you mentioned it, I did notice that the room dimmed markedly when you entered...)
**
Tweet of the day: "KhapPanchayat "Our boy Naveen Jindal is innocent. The coal blocks dressed provocatively"
(Courtesy: Mumbai Mirror 12/6/13)
(Me: a take on the Khap Panchayat's blaming women dressing provocatively for frequent rape cases)
**
"A weak currency is the sign of a weak economy, and a weak economy leads to a weak nation" – Ross Perot...
(Me: Driving the nail on the head…)
**
News of the day…
Sahara group flags off project to adopt 1,000 villages.
New Delhi: Business conglomerate Sahara India, has flagged off VEDAS, a 1000 village adoption programme, with 172 villages in UP and Bihar. Under the programme, Sahara is fully adopting 1000 villages for sustainable overall development e.g. safe drinking water through water purification plants and distributing it through water ATMs, imparting education through more than 5000 education resource centres with interactive classrooms, free primary healthcare, etc. The project aims to cover 4.5 lakhs rural households touching the lives of 25 lakh people of 7 states.
(The company is doing what the governments of the respective States are expected, yet it is being hounded on as-yet unproven charges...)

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